_{^{Everybody remembers the moment that they realized that somebody was ugly.  They were sitting right next to you, they were telling you a story, you were listening for a minute but then it happened, you tuned out, and just started staring at them talking, first you looked in their eyes, then you watched their lips move as they were talking, then you seen their teeth, the shape of their head, their hair and you thought to yourself, "lord forgive me, but this is one ugly son of b*tch."  They still talking, not even knowing you just asked the lord to forgive you for how ugly they are.  Then they had the audacity to......................... crack a smile, and you was like "game over, this mutha f*cka is just too mutha f*ckin ugly, I need some water."}}

_{^{How the f*ck you gonna hang up in somebody face........................then call back?  You hung up cause you aint want to hear no more right?  Why the f*ck you calling back?  To hear more?  I'm confused.  No I'm not.  People who hang up in your face, want you to call them back.  They hang up in ya face and then after they hang up they sit there looking at the phone, but when you don't call them back, they panic.  They get real confused and puzzled.  Then they finally say f*ck it, I'm calling back.  When they call back, they don't even know what to say cause anything they say aint going to make a bit of sense because they just hung up in somebody face, why on earth would you be calling back?}}

_{^{It be feeling weird then a mutha f*cka when you be talking to a older family member that you don't even know.  They call to talk to you and it just be akward than a mutha f*cka.  If it wasn't family you would be like "what the f*ck you calling me for, I dont even f*ckin know you."  You just be sitting there with the phone to ya hear waiting for that first little hint that they about to hang up.  You know when they hit you with that "Wellllllllllllllll" anytime you hear somebody say "Welllllllllllllllllllll" that means they about to wrap up this fake azz mutha f*ckin conversation they having.}} 

_{^{You ever invite a broke mutha f*cka over ya house and he be amazed at some bullsh*t.  Like "you get movie channels????????? Damn, you ballin like that?"  "You got a shower curtain???, damn son you living like white people in this mutha f*cka." "ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh my n*gga got Rice Krispies, you know me and shorty we get "krispy rice" its the same sh*t but damn you got the big boy sh*t, my n*gga aint f*ckin around." "ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh sh*t ya towels match the washcloths" "ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh sh*t, you got a real ketchup bottle, me and shorty got 3,000 ketchup packets in a box in the closet from when she used to work at Burger King."  "ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh sh*t, you mutha f*ckas got extra soda, you got like 4 extra bottles of soda just laying on the ground NEXT to the fridgerator, you mutha f*ckas ballin so hard, you aint even put that sh*t in the fridgerator yet.}}

_{^{You sleep in.................. VOTE NOW}}

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