GORDON: I'm going down to the church tonight honey.

WANDA: What else is new, you always going down to the f*ckin church, you would rather go to the church than stay home and f*ck your wife.

GORDON: I'm sorry sweetheart, I promise when I come home I will cook you something to eat, rub your feet and make sweet love to you.

WANDA: Whateva

GORDON: Wanda, I love you.

WANDA: Yup

GORDON: Do you need any money?

WANDA: Yea, I need money.

GORDON: How much?  I only have $200 on me.

WANDA: Give me that.

GORDON: Ok, take it baby.

WANDA: Ok, see you later when you get back, bye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GORDON: Bye, my dear. 

(As soon as Gordon leaves, Wanda jumps on the phone and calls her side piece "Smoke a N*gga")

SMOKE A N*GGA: (answering phone) Hello?

WANDA: What up, it's Wanda, he gone, he went to the church, come scoop me up

SMOKE A N*GGA: I got things to do mami

WANDA: Smoke, I need to get f*cked, this mutha f*cka aint f*ckin me.

SMOKE A N*GGA: I got things to do mami

WANDA: Remember those ACG boots you wanted?

SMOKE A N*GGA: Yea, what about um?

WANDA: I got $200 and I want to buy them for you baby

SMOKE A N*GGA: I will be there.

(right when Wanda hangs up the phone, Gordon comes back in thru the door)

GORDON: Hey baby, you know, I have been thinking, and you are right, I don't spend enough time with you, so instead of going to church tonight, I am going to stay here with you.

WANDA: What!!!

GORDON: You don't sound happy baby.  Well maybe this will make you happy.

(Gordon gives Wanda keys to a brand new 2010 Range Rover HSE)

GORDON: I was going to wait to give it to you but I felt the time is right.

WANDA: OMG Gordon, where is it?

GORDON: It's at Alan's house, we can go get it tommorow, tonight is all about me and you.

(Wanda's phone goes off, she has a text from Smoke a N*gga, Wanda looks at the text)

GORDON: Who is it baby?

WANDA: Huh? Oh it's my nephew.

(Wanda is reading the text from Smoke, it says "I'm outside, my phone is dying, I'm coming in")

(Wanda texted smoke back to not come, but Smoke's phone died after his last text to Wanda.  Smoke is approaching the door)

WANDA: (trying to think fast) Gordon, f*ck me right now!!

GORDON: Honey, I don't just want to have sex with you, I want to romance you first. 

WANDA: N*gga, I said F*CK ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Knock Knock) (Smoke is knocking at the door)

GORDON: I'll get it baby, you stay ya horny azz right there.

(Gordon opens the door)

GORDON: How you doing man, how can I help you.

SMOKE: Wanda here?

GORDON: Wanda?  Wanda come here baby, somebody here looking for you.

WANDA: Oh hey Smoke, I called smoke for some weed earlier.  Yea, we good Smoke.  I don't wanna smoke no more.

(Smoke is getting what's going on so he plays along)

SMOKE: Ohh, c'mon Wanda, you do this everytime, make me bag up this sh*t and now you straight?  F*ck!!! Don't call me no more, I'm out.

(Gordon senses something fishy going on)

GORDON: What's ya name again brother?  Is it Smoke?

SMOKE: Yea that's my name.

GORDON:  Let me see the weed.

(Gordon sensed something wasn't right.  So he is calling Smoke and Wanda's bluff)

SMOKE: Nah, I aint showing you cause you aint buying it.

GORDON: (Gordon pulls out a knot of 20 dollar bills)  I'm going to buy it for my baby. Let me see.

WANDA: No Gordon, I don't want to smoke.

GORDON:  Well, I will buy it for you, just in case you want to smoke in the future.  Let me see it brotha Smoke.

SMOKE: Listen n*gga, I aint selling it to you.  I'm starting to get real aggravated

GORDON: Why you getting aggravated brotha?  I'm just trying to buy some weed off you.  Listen, if you show me weed right now, I will give you $100 and I wont even take the weed.  I just want to make sure you was coming here to give her weed and not to give her d*ck.  Show me some weed and you got $100 brotha.

SMOKE: You calling me a liar son?

GORDON: Listen brotha, I'm not trying to get violent, I just want to know if my wife is cheating on me.

SMOKE: That's what you wanna know?

GORDON: That's it.

SMOKE: Yea, the b*tch is cheating on you.  She called me over to f*ck her and she was going to buy me some boots.

WANDA: He's LYING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GORDON: Ok, take this money brotha Smoke.  Have a nice night.

SMOKE: One.

GORDON: So Wanda, as soon as I leave you call one of these street thugs over here huh?

WANDA: Gordon, that n*gga is lying

GORDON: Let me see your cell phone.

WANDA: Gordon, please, I told you I called him for weed, so of course his number is going to be in there.

GORDON: I'm leaving you Wanda.

WANDA: Gordon, NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GORDON: I will be back for my belongings later this week.

WANDA: Gordon please don't leave me (Wanda tries to pull Gordon's pants down)

GORDON: Get off me Wanda, I'm gone (Gordon leaves and shuts door)

(Gordon hops in the car and calls a lady from his church named Darlene)

GORDON: Darlene, I just left Wanda.

DARLENE: Oh my Gordon, are you serious?  What happened?

GORDON: Long story Darlene, Can I crash at your house tonight?

DARLENE: Of course Gordon, let me check with Sonny.

(Darlene asks her husband Sonny if it is ok for Gordon to stay the night)

DARLENE: Sonny says it's ok, Gordon, come over.

(Gordon arrives at Darlene's house)

GORDON: Hey Darlene (she gives him long hug)

DARLENE: I am so sorry Gordon, whatever happened between you and Wanda, I hope the two of you can work it out

GORDON: I don't think we will, she doesn't know how to leave the street thugs alone.  She is really attracted to thugs for some reason, I guess I'm just not good enough for her.

DARLENE: Gordon, don't say that.  Your a great man.  Any woman would be glad to have you.

GORDON: I hope you're right, where's Sonny?

DARLENE: He's sleep, I'm just up watching this gospel special on BET.

GORDON: Mind if I watch with you?

DARLENE: Sure, have a seat.

(After watching TV with Darlene, Gordon gets sleepy)

GORDON: Darlene, I'm falling asleep, where am I sleeping?

DARLENE: I'm getting sleepy too.  You can sleep here on the couch.  I will get you some blankets.

(When Darlene comes back with the blankets, Gordon is changing into something to sleep in, Gordon doesn't see Darlene watching him undress)

DARLENE: (Thinking to herself) Damnnnnnnnn look at that body, Wanda is crazy for messing that up.  Lord forgive me, but damnnnnnnn, look at his d*ck! 

(Darlene just continues watching, trying to figure out what she is going to do next)

DARLENE: (She waits until Gordon is done getting dressed to walk in)  Hey Gordon, I have the blankets right here for you.

GORDON: Thank you Darlene.

DARLENE:  I will be upstairs if you need anything.

GORDON: Ok, thank you Darlene.

(Darlene goes upstairs and jumps on the phone to call her cousin Smoke)

DARLENE: Smoke?  I just gave Gordon his blankets he should be sleep soon, how much money did you say he pulled out of his pocket at Wanda's house again?

SMOKE: Had to be at least a $1000 cash.

DARLENE: Damnnnnnnnnnnn, I will call you as soon as he is sleep, I am going to leave the front door unlocked so you can come right in.

SMOKE: Ok, I gotta call up my n*ggas anyway.

DARLENE: Ok, I'm going to be upstairs with Sonny, remember mutha f*cka, I get 50% of whatever you n*ggas get, so don't play me.

SMOKE: haha, I got you cuz.

DARLENE: Ok, bye.

SONNY: Who you on the phone with baby.

DARLENE: Oh, that's just Smoke.

SONNY: Can you keep it down, I'm trying to sleep.

DARLENE: Sorry baby (rubbing Sonnys d*ck)

(One hour later, Darlene goes downstairs to see if Gordon is knocked out yet, and he is knocked out)

(Darlene calls Smoke)

DARLENE: Cuz, he sleep now.

SMOKE: We on our way.

(Smoke, Deebo and Spank arrive at Darlene's house and open the door she left unlocked for them)

DEEBO: That n*gga sleeping like a baby

SMOKE: Let me find the pant's he had on at Wanda house.

SMOKE: Here they go and here's the money, Let me count this sh*t.

(Smoke counts all the money)

SMOKE: It's $1,300, Let's get the f*ck outta here.

(When morning comes, Gordon wakes up and puts on his pants and checks his pockets)

GORDON: What the f*ck! Where my f*ckin money at?  F*ckin Darlene going through my pockets while I'm sleep.

DARLENE: Good Morning Gordon

GORDON: Darlene, money was missing out my pants when I woke up this morning.

DARLENE: Are you serious?  Did you look everywhere?

GORDON: Look at your living room, of course I looked everywhere Darlene.

SONNY: What's going on down here?

DARLENE: Gordon is missing money out his pants honey.

GORDON: $1,300 and I had it when I went to sleep.

DARLENE: The tone of your voice is making me think, that you think I took it.

GORDON: You the only one in here Darlene.

SONNY: My wife aint no theif brotha.

DARLENE: Sonny relax, Gordon is just upset.  Gordon, I did not take your money.

GORDON: I'm outta here, keep the money Darlene.

SONNY: Yea, get out of here, we let you stay here and you accusing us of stealing?  Wait until the church hear about this.

GORDON: I'm gone

(Gordon drives back to Wanda's to get the rest of his things)

GORDON: (knocking on door) Wanda! Open the door!

WANDA: (opening door) I thought you was leaving me.

GORDON: I am, I came to get my stuff.

WANDA: I heard you were at Darlene's.

GORDON: Move out my way. (Gordon moves Darlene out the way and walks in and see's Smoke sitting on the couch)

GORDON: What the f*ck is this dude doing here?

WANDA: Listen n*gga, you said you was leaving me so I moved on.

GORDON: I can't believe you Wanda, I left last night and already you got another man in here in his boxers?

WANDA: You didn't want me.

GORDON: My god Wanda, I can't believe you!

WANDA: I have needs Gordon and.....(Smoke cuts her off)

SMOKE: And I fulfill those needs n*gga.

WANDA: Shut up Smoke

GORDON: You fulfill those needs?

SMOKE: That's what I said n*gga.  She already told me ya d*ck aint as big as this. (Smoke pulls out his d*ck)  Is ya d*ck big like this?  I know it aint, she already told me.  Puny d*ck azz n*gga.

GORDON: You are being real disrespectful brotha

SMOKE: Get ya sh*t and get the f*ck out MY house.

GORDON: Your house?

SMOKE: My mutha f*ckin house. 

GORDON: Wanda you were talking about how big my d*ck is to this man?

WANDA: Listen Gordon, I don't care about d*ck size but I do need to get f*cked and f*cked often and you wasn't doing it, so maybe you did us both a favor by leaving me.

SMOKE: hahahahahahahahaha

SPANK: (Comes out of bedroom with just his boxers on) What's going on out here?

GORDON: What the f*ck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Wanda you are f*cking both these hoodlums?

WANDA: Gordon, you know I'm a freak, Can you please just get your....(Wanda is interupted by Deebo)

DEEBO: (Deebo comes out with some tighty whiteys on with the money they took from Gordon in his hand)

(not seeing Gordon in the room, Deebo comes in talking)

DEEBO: We got that n*gga for $1300 dollars, who we gonna get next Smoke? (Deebo looks and sees Gordon standing right there)

DEEBO: Oops

GORDON: $1,300? That's exactly what I had taken from me.

SMOKE: Wanda, close the door.

WANDA: Please Smoke, don't do this to him.

SMOKE: Close the f*ckin door!!!!

(Wanda closes door)

SMOKE: And stand in front of it.

DEEBO: Yea, finally get to whoop some mutha f*ckin azz, I been feinin

SMOKE: Yea n*gga, we took the money from ya azz.  So now what?  You running to the cops?

GORDON: You damn right. (Gordon goes for the phone but Deebo punches him right in his jaw and drops him)

DEEBO: I hit that n*gga lovely Smoke.

GORDON: (on ground holding his jaw) I just want my money fellas.

SMOKE: Do you listen to yourself when you talk?  You want your money?  That's our money Mr. Gordon.

WANDA: Just let him go, he wont tell the cops

SMOKE: I know that n*gga will run to the police. I don't know why you sticking up for him, he was ready to leave you here in this place by yourself.

WANDA: (Nodding her head in agreement)

SPANK: I say we murder the n*gga, cause anything else and he running to the police.

DEEBO: Tie that n*gga up and sit him on the couch.  I know how we can handle this n*gga.

(25 minutes later, Gordon is tied up on the couch)

SMOKE: Wanda, strip butt azz naked.

WANDA: What!!!!

SMOKE: Strip b*tch!!!

WANDA: (Scared to death of Smoke) begins to take off her shirt and underwear.

(Wanda is standing there naked with Gordon tied up looking and Smoke, Deebo and Spank in their underwear)

SMOKE: Turn around Wanda. 

(Wanda turns around)

SMOKE: Deebo, take off ya tight azz draws and f*ck that b*tch so Gordon can see how he supposed to f*ck a b*tch to keep her from leaving.

GORDON: Wanda baby, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.  Don't do this.

WANDA: I don't feel right Smoke, letting you guys f*ck me in front of Gordon.

SMOKE: (Pulls out gun) Listen Wanda, let Deebo f*ck.

WANDA: Ok. (Wanda bends over but then she stops and turns back forward)

WANDA: Deebo?

DEEBO: Yo?

WANDA: Can I suck it first?

DEEBO: Of course

SMOKE: Hahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaa, that's what the f*ck I'm talking about.

(Wanda begins sucking Deebo's d*ck)

GORDON: You mutha f*ckas is going to pay for this.

SMOKE: What n*gga? You talkin real crazy for a mutha f*cka that is tied up ready to die. 

(There is a knock at the door, it's Darlene)

DARLENE: Yo Smoke, I came to get my money.  Ohhhhhhhhh sh*t!!  What the hell is going on in here?  Wanda, what the hell you doing f*ckin Deebo?  What the hell?????  You mutha f*ckas having a orgy in this mutha f*cka?  Smoke, why is Gordon tied up?

SMOKE: Relax cuz, this n*gga was talking about going to the police, so you know we can't let that happen, you can get in trouble to cuz.

DARLENE: Police?  Gordon you trying to go to the police?

GORDON: You damn right.  I can't believe you would set me up Darlene.  Wanda!!!! can you please stop sucking his d*ck?

WANDA: You know me Gordon, I don't stop until the cum drop. *slurp slurp, deepthroat, slurp*

DARLENE: Damn Wanda can suck a d*ck.  Smoke, where is my money?

SMOKE: Spank give cuz her cut.

(Just as Spank gives Darlene the money.  Darlene's husband Sonny is peeking in the window, Sonny immediately calls the cops on his cell phone then goes back in his truck to wait for Darlene to come out)

(The cops arrive 15 cars deep while Darlene is still in the house)

SPANK: Oh sh*t Smoke, the cops is outside like 100 cars deep.

SMOKE: Oh sh*t, run out the back door.

(Everybody in the house except  Gordon attempts to run out the back door, just as they got to the back door, the police were getting to the back door.  Everybody made it out except a naked Wanda and Deebo, they were both brought back to the station for questioning.)

GORDON: (talking to officer) Yes officer, I just need some time to get over all of this, I will be down there first thing in the morning to talk to you.

OFFICER YOUNG: Ok, we will keep some cops out front of your house tonight just in case any of these knuckle heads try to come back.

GORDON: Thank you officer.  Remember what I said, Wanda had nothing to do with it, the naked guy you picked up with her, hit me in my face and tied me up.

OFFICER YOUNG: Ok we will be on the lookout for them all night sir.

GORDON: Thank you.

(Gordon is sleeping in the house and all of a sudden he hears a light knock on the window, it's Darlene)

GORDON: What the f*ck you doing here, I'm calling the cops.

DARLENE: Gordon, don't, just let me explain everything, I didn't want to do it.  Just let me explain and I will tell you where my cousin Smoke and Spank are hiding.

GORDON: Darlene, why would I f*ckin trust you?

DARLENE: You want Spank and Smoke caught or do you want them to be free and also free to murder you?

GORDON: Ok, go to the front door, I will open it for you.

(Gordon let's Darlene in)

DARLENE: They made me do it Gordon

GORDON: Yea right, even if they did make you do it, you went along with it.

DARLENE: Sonny is the one who called the cops, he wont let me in the house. 

GORDON: So what, why are you telling me.

DARLENE: What did you tell the cops?

GORDON: They told me I can't talk about it, and I'm not.  They actually told me to let them know if I see any of you.

DARLENE: Gordon listen, I need you to tell the cops I had nothing to do with the sh*t.

GORDON: No way.

DARLENE: Gordon, I need you to tell the cops I had nothing to do with the sh*t.

GORDON: Are you a broken record?  I said No.

(Darlene begins rubbing Gordon's d*ck)

DARLENE: You like it cause you getting hard Gordon.  I didn't know you wanted this p*ssy.  All you had to do was ask.  Sonny flabby fat azz can't f*ck.  I need a muscle man like you Gordon.

GORDON: This is not going to work, Darlene, I know oh oh oh oh oh ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

DARLENE: You like that Gordon?  I hate sucking d*ck when a man has his boxers still on, take them off.

GORDON: Darlene, I can't do this with you, what would the church think

DARLENE:  We have gone to far already Gordon,  take them off, or I'm going to rip them off, let me see that big d*ck.

GORDON: Ok.

(Darlene sucks Gordon's d*ck for about 5 minutes and then she puts her teeth down on his d*ck)

GORDON: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

DARLENE: (With her teeth on Gordon's d*ck,)  Now this is what you going to do you square mutha f*cka.  You are going to pick up that f*cking phone and call the police and tell them I had nothing to do with it, if you say one mutha f*ckin word to them about me being here, I swear on everything I love, I am going to bite your f*ckin d*ck off and put cheese on it and eat that mutha f*cka.

GORDON: Ok, Ok. Ok, just relax Darlene.  I'm calling now.

(Gordon calls police station)

GORDON: Hello can I speak to Officer Young please?

OFFICER YOUNG: This is Young

GORDON: Officer Young, This is Gordon, I just wanted to let you know that the woman named Darlene, had nothing to do with the robbery.

OFFICER YOUNG: Well Gordon, we have your wife Wanda and the gentleman named Deebo in custody right now and from the sound of both of their stories, Darlene set the whole thing up.  Now Gordon, I am going to ask you, why are you lying for this woman?

GORDON: Officer I am not lying, she had nothing to do with it.

OFFICER YOUNG: Gordon we have gathered a lot of information and we believe she defianately played a major part in this robbery.  Gordon, are you in danger right now?  If you are in danger say the words "She did not do anything" If you are not in danger, say the words "Listen Officer Young".

GORDON: She did not do anything

OFFICER YOUNG: I will send cars over there now Gordon.  Do whatever the person says.

GORDON:  Ok, Officer Young

(Gordon hangs up phone)

DARLENE: (D*ck still in her mouth) What did he say?

GORDON: He said ok, he didn't think you had anything to do with it anyway.

DARLENE: I need to get out of here Gordon so we are going to walk out to your car with your d*ck in my mouth.  One stupid move and I will bite this sh*t off.  Get your keys.

(Gordon opens the front door to go out, and Darlene is crawling out with Gordon's d*ck in her mouth)

(The cops pull up as soon as Gordon steps on the porch, Darlene sees the cops and begins sucking Gordon's d*ck fa real.)

OFFICER YOUNG: Gordon why are you letting a suspect in this case give you oral sex?

GORDON: I'm not officer. 

OFFICER YOUNG: You both are under arrest, public sex is not allowed in this town and Miss Darlene we want to question you about the robbery.

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Part 14 Wednesday at Midnight.

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