GORDON: I'm going down to the church tonight honey.

WANDA: What else is new, you always going down to the f*ckin church, you would rather go to the church than stay home and f*ck your wife.

GORDON: I'm sorry sweetheart, I promise when I come home I will cook you something to eat, rub your feet and make sweet love to you.

WANDA: Whateva

GORDON: Wanda, I love you.

WANDA: Yup

GORDON: Do you need any money?

WANDA: Yea, I need money.

GORDON: How much?  I only have $200 on me.

WANDA: Give me that.

GORDON: Ok, take it baby.

WANDA: Ok, see you later when you get back, bye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GORDON: Bye, my dear. 

(As soon as Gordon leaves, Wanda jumps on the phone and calls her side piece "Smoke a N*gga")

SMOKE A N*GGA: (answering phone) Hello?

WANDA: What up, it's Wanda, he gone, he went to the church, come scoop me up

SMOKE A N*GGA: I got things to do mami

WANDA: Smoke, I need to get f*cked, this mutha f*cka aint f*ckin me.

SMOKE A N*GGA: I got things to do mami

WANDA: Remember those ACG boots you wanted?

SMOKE A N*GGA: Yea, what about um?

WANDA: I got $200 and I want to buy them for you baby

SMOKE A N*GGA: I will be there.

(right when Wanda hangs up the phone, Gordon comes back in thru the door)

GORDON: Hey baby, you know, I have been thinking, and you are right, I don't spend enough time with you, so instead of going to church tonight, I am going to stay here with you.

WANDA: What!!!

GORDON: You don't sound happy baby.  Well maybe this will make you happy.

(Gordon gives Wanda keys to a brand new 2010 Range Rover HSE)

GORDON: I was going to wait to give it to you but I felt the time is right.

WANDA: OMG Gordon, where is it?

GORDON: It's at Alan's house, we can go get it tommorow, tonight is all about me and you.

(Wanda's phone goes off, she has a text from Smoke a N*gga, Wanda looks at the text)

GORDON: Who is it baby?

WANDA: Huh? Oh it's my nephew.

(Wanda is reading the text from Smoke, it says "I'm outside, my phone is dying, I'm coming in")

(Wanda texted smoke back to not come, but Smoke's phone died after his last text to Wanda.  Smoke is approaching the door)

WANDA: (trying to think fast) Gordon, f*ck me right now!!

GORDON: Honey, I don't just want to have sex with you, I want to romance you first. 

WANDA: N*gga, I said F*CK ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Knock Knock) (Smoke is knocking at the door)

GORDON: I'll get it baby, you stay ya horny azz right there.

(Gordon opens the door)

GORDON: How you doing man, how can I help you.

SMOKE: Wanda here?

GORDON: Wanda?  Wanda come here baby, somebody here looking for you.

WANDA: Oh hey Smoke, I called smoke for some weed earlier.  Yea, we good Smoke.  I don't wanna smoke no more.

(Smoke is getting what's going on so he plays along)

SMOKE: Ohh, c'mon Wanda, you do this everytime, make me bag up this sh*t and now you straight?  F*ck!!! Don't call me no more, I'm out.

(Gordon senses something fishy going on)

GORDON: What's ya name again brother?  Is it Smoke?

SMOKE: Yea that's my name.

GORDON:  Let me see the weed.

(Gordon sensed something wasn't right.  So he is calling Smoke and Wanda's bluff)

SMOKE: Nah, I aint showing you cause you aint buying it.

GORDON: (Gordon pulls out a knot of 20 dollar bills)  I'm going to buy it for my baby. Let me see.

WANDA: No Gordon, I don't want to smoke.

GORDON:  Well, I will buy it for you, just in case you want to smoke in the future.  Let me see it brotha Smoke.

SMOKE: Listen n*gga, I aint selling it to you.  I'm starting to get real aggravated

GORDON: Why you getting aggravated brotha?  I'm just trying to buy some weed off you.  Listen, if you show me weed right now, I will give you $100 and I wont even take the weed.  I just want to make sure you was coming here to give her weed and not to give her d*ck.  Show me some weed and you got $100 brotha.

SMOKE: You calling me a liar son?

GORDON: Listen brotha, I'm not trying to get violent, I just want to know if my wife is cheating on me.

SMOKE: That's what you wanna know?

GORDON: That's it.

SMOKE: Yea, the b*tch is cheating on you.  She called me over to f*ck her and she was going to buy me some boots.

WANDA: He's LYING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GORDON: Ok, take this money brotha Smoke.  Have a nice night.

SMOKE: One.

GORDON: So Wanda, as soon as I leave you call one of these street thugs over here huh?

WANDA: Gordon, that n*gga is lying

GORDON: Let me see your cell phone.

WANDA: Gordon, please, I told you I called him for weed, so of course his number is going to be in there.

GORDON: I'm leaving you Wanda.

WANDA: Gordon, NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GORDON: I will be back for my belongings later this week.

WANDA: Gordon please don't leave me (Wanda tries to pull Gordon's pants down)

GORDON: Get off me Wanda, I'm gone (Gordon leaves and shuts door)

(Gordon hops in the car and calls a lady from his church named Darlene)

GORDON: Darlene, I just left Wanda.

DARLENE: Oh my Gordon, are you serious?  What happened?

GORDON: Long story Darlene, Can I crash at your house tonight?

DARLENE: Of course Gordon, let me check with Sonny.

(Darlene asks her husband Sonny if it is ok for Gordon to stay the night)

DARLENE: Sonny says it's ok, Gordon, come over.

(Gordon arrives at Darlene's house)

GORDON: Hey Darlene (she gives him long hug)

DARLENE: I am so sorry Gordon, whatever happened between you and Wanda, I hope the two of you can work it out

GORDON: I don't think we will, she doesn't know how to leave the street thugs alone.  She is really attracted to thugs for some reason, I guess I'm just not good enough for her.

DARLENE: Gordon, don't say that.  Your a great man.  Any woman would be glad to have you.

GORDON: I hope you're right, where's Sonny?

DARLENE: He's sleep, I'm just up watching this gospel special on BET.

GORDON: Mind if I watch with you?

DARLENE: Sure, have a seat.

(After watching TV with Darlene, Gordon gets sleepy)

GORDON: Darlene, I'm falling asleep, where am I sleeping?

DARLENE: I'm getting sleepy too.  You can sleep here on the couch.  I will get you some blankets.

(When Darlene comes back with the blankets, Gordon is changing into something to sleep in, Gordon doesn't see Darlene watching him undress)

DARLENE: (Thinking to herself) Damnnnnnnnn look at that body, Wanda is crazy for messing that up.  Lord forgive me, but damnnnnnnn, look at his d*ck! 

(Darlene just continues watching, trying to figure out what she is going to do next)

DARLENE: (She waits until Gordon is done getting dressed to walk in)  Hey Gordon, I have the blankets right here for you.

GORDON: Thank you Darlene.

DARLENE:  I will be upstairs if you need anything.

GORDON: Ok, thank you Darlene.

(Darlene goes upstairs and jumps on the phone to call her cousin Smoke)

DARLENE: Smoke?  I just gave Gordon his blankets he should be sleep soon, how much money did you say he pulled out of his pocket at Wanda's house again?

SMOKE: Had to be at least a $1000 cash.

DARLENE: Damnnnnnnnnnnn, I will call you as soon as he is sleep, I am going to leave the front door unlocked so you can come right in.

SMOKE: Ok, I gotta call up my n*ggas anyway.

DARLENE: Ok, I'm going to be upstairs with Sonny, remember mutha f*cka, I get 50% of whatever you n*ggas get, so don't play me.

SMOKE: haha, I got you cuz.

DARLENE: Ok, bye.

SONNY: Who you on the phone with baby.

DARLENE: Oh, that's just Smoke.

SONNY: Can you keep it down, I'm trying to sleep.

DARLENE: Sorry baby (rubbing Sonnys d*ck)

(One hour later, Darlene goes downstairs to see if Gordon is knocked out yet, and he is knocked out)

(Darlene calls Smoke)

DARLENE: Cuz, he sleep now.

SMOKE: We on our way.

(Smoke, Deebo and Spank arrive at Darlene's house and open the door she left unlocked for them)

DEEBO: That n*gga sleeping like a baby

SMOKE: Let me find the pant's he had on at Wanda house.

SMOKE: Here they go and here's the money, Let me count this sh*t.

(Smoke counts all the money)

SMOKE: It's $1,300, Let's get the f*ck outta here.

(When morning comes, Gordon wakes up and puts on his pants and checks his pockets)

GORDON: What the f*ck! Where my f*ckin money at?  F*ckin Darlene going through my pockets while I'm sleep.

DARLENE: Good Morning Gordon

GORDON: Darlene, money was missing out my pants when I woke up this morning.

DARLENE: Are you serious?  Did you look everywhere?

GORDON: Look at your living room, of course I looked everywhere Darlene.

SONNY: What's going on down here?

DARLENE: Gordon is missing money out his pants honey.

GORDON: $1,300 and I had it when I went to sleep.

DARLENE: The tone of your voice is making me think, that you think I took it.

GORDON: You the only one in here Darlene.

SONNY: My wife aint no theif brotha.

DARLENE: Sonny relax, Gordon is just upset.  Gordon, I did not take your money.

GORDON: I'm outta here, keep the money Darlene.

SONNY: Yea, get out of here, we let you stay here and you accusing us of stealing?  Wait until the church hear about this.

GORDON: I'm gone

(Gordon drives back to Wanda's to get the rest of his things)

GORDON: (knocking on door) Wanda! Open the door!

WANDA: (opening door) I thought you was leaving me.

GORDON: I am, I came to get my stuff.

WANDA: I heard you were at Darlene's.

GORDON: Move out my way. (Gordon moves Darlene out the way and walks in and see's Smoke sitting on the couch)

GORDON: What the f*ck is this dude doing here?

WANDA: Listen n*gga, you said you was leaving me so I moved on.

GORDON: I can't believe you Wanda, I left last night and already you got another man in here in his boxers?

WANDA: You didn't want me.

GORDON: My god Wanda, I can't believe you!

WANDA: I have needs Gordon and.....(Smoke cuts her off)

SMOKE: And I fulfill those needs n*gga.

WANDA: Shut up Smoke

GORDON: You fulfill those needs?

SMOKE: That's what I said n*gga.  She already told me ya d*ck aint as big as this. (Smoke pulls out his d*ck)  Is ya d*ck big like this?  I know it aint, she already told me.  Puny d*ck azz n*gga.

GORDON: You are being real disrespectful brotha

SMOKE: Get ya sh*t and get the f*ck out MY house.

GORDON: Your house?

SMOKE: My mutha f*ckin house. 

GORDON: Wanda you were talking about how big my d*ck is to this man?

WANDA: Listen Gordon, I don't care about d*ck size but I do need to get f*cked and f*cked often and you wasn't doing it, so maybe you did us both a favor by leaving me.

SMOKE: hahahahahahahahaha

SPANK: (Comes out of bedroom with just his boxers on) What's going on out here?

GORDON: What the f*ck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Wanda you are f*cking both these hoodlums?

WANDA: Gordon, you know I'm a freak, Can you please just get your....(Wanda is interupted by Deebo)

DEEBO: (Deebo comes out with some tighty whiteys on with the money they took from Gordon in his hand)

(not seeing Gordon in the room, Deebo comes in talking)

DEEBO: We got that n*gga for $1300 dollars, who we gonna get next Smoke? (Deebo looks and sees Gordon standing right there)

DEEBO: Oops

GORDON: $1,300? That's exactly what I had taken from me.

SMOKE: Wanda, close the door.

WANDA: Please Smoke, don't do this to him.

SMOKE: Close the f*ckin door!!!!

(Wanda closes door)

SMOKE: And stand in front of it.

DEEBO: Yea, finally get to whoop some mutha f*ckin azz, I been feinin

SMOKE: Yea n*gga, we took the money from ya azz.  So now what?  You running to the cops?

GORDON: You damn right. (Gordon goes for the phone but Deebo punches him right in his jaw and drops him)

DEEBO: I hit that n*gga lovely Smoke.

GORDON: (on ground holding his jaw) I just want my money fellas.

SMOKE: Do you listen to yourself when you talk?  You want your money?  That's our money Mr. Gordon.

WANDA: Just let him go, he wont tell the cops

SMOKE: I know that n*gga will run to the police. I don't know why you sticking up for him, he was ready to leave you here in this place by yourself.

WANDA: (Nodding her head in agreement)

SPANK: I say we murder the n*gga, cause anything else and he running to the police.

DEEBO: Tie that n*gga up and sit him on the couch.  I know how we can handle this n*gga.

(25 minutes later, Gordon is tied up on the couch)

SMOKE: Wanda, strip butt azz naked.

WANDA: What!!!!

SMOKE: Strip b*tch!!!

WANDA: (Scared to death of Smoke) begins to take off her shirt and underwear.

(Wanda is standing there naked with Gordon tied up looking and Smoke, Deebo and Spank in their underwear)

SMOKE: Turn around Wanda. 

(Wanda turns around)

SMOKE: Deebo, take off ya tight azz draws and f*ck that b*tch so Gordon can see how he supposed to f*ck a b*tch to keep her from leaving.

GORDON: Wanda baby, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.  Don't do this.

WANDA: I don't feel right Smoke, letting you guys f*ck me in front of Gordon.

SMOKE: (Pulls out gun) Listen Wanda, let Deebo f*ck.

WANDA: Ok. (Wanda bends over but then she stops and turns back forward)

WANDA: Deebo?

DEEBO: Yo?

WANDA: Can I suck it first?

DEEBO: Of course

SMOKE: Hahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaa, that's what the f*ck I'm talking about.

(Wanda begins sucking Deebo's d*ck)

GORDON: You mutha f*ckas is going to pay for this.

SMOKE: What n*gga? You talkin real crazy for a mutha f*cka that is tied up ready to die. 

(There is a knock at the door, it's Darlene)

DARLENE: Yo Smoke, I came to get my money.  Ohhhhhhhhh sh*t!!  What the hell is going on in here?  Wanda, what the hell you doing f*ckin Deebo?  What the hell?????  You mutha f*ckas having a orgy in this mutha f*cka?  Smoke, why is Gordon tied up?

SMOKE: Relax cuz, this n*gga was talking about going to the police, so you know we can't let that happen, you can get in trouble to cuz.

DARLENE: Police?  Gordon you trying to go to the police?

GORDON: You damn right.  I can't believe you would set me up Darlene.  Wanda!!!! can you please stop sucking his d*ck?

WANDA: You know me Gordon, I don't stop until the cum drop. *slurp slurp, deepthroat, slurp*

DARLENE: Damn Wanda can suck a d*ck.  Smoke, where is my money?

SMOKE: Spank give cuz her cut.

(Just as Spank gives Darlene the money.  Darlene's husband Sonny is peeking in the window, Sonny immediately calls the cops on his cell phone then goes back in his truck to wait for Darlene to come out)

(The cops arrive 15 cars deep while Darlene is still in the house)

SPANK: Oh sh*t Smoke, the cops is outside like 100 cars deep.

SMOKE: Oh sh*t, run out the back door.

(Everybody in the house except  Gordon attempts to run out the back door, just as they got to the back door, the police were getting to the back door.  Everybody made it out except a naked Wanda and Deebo, they were both brought back to the station for questioning.)

GORDON: (talking to officer) Yes officer, I just need some time to get over all of this, I will be down there first thing in the morning to talk to you.

OFFICER YOUNG: Ok, we will keep some cops out front of your house tonight just in case any of these knuckle heads try to come back.

GORDON: Thank you officer.  Remember what I said, Wanda had nothing to do with it, the naked guy you picked up with her, hit me in my face and tied me up.

OFFICER YOUNG: Ok we will be on the lookout for them all night sir.

GORDON: Thank you.

(Gordon is sleeping in the house and all of a sudden he hears a light knock on the window, it's Darlene)

GORDON: What the f*ck you doing here, I'm calling the cops.

DARLENE: Gordon, don't, just let me explain everything, I didn't want to do it.  Just let me explain and I will tell you where my cousin Smoke and Spank are hiding.

GORDON: Darlene, why would I f*ckin trust you?

DARLENE: You want Spank and Smoke caught or do you want them to be free and also free to murder you?

GORDON: Ok, go to the front door, I will open it for you.

(Gordon let's Darlene in)

DARLENE: They made me do it Gordon

GORDON: Yea right, even if they did make you do it, you went along with it.

DARLENE: Sonny is the one who called the cops, he wont let me in the house. 

GORDON: So what, why are you telling me.

DARLENE: What did you tell the cops?

GORDON: They told me I can't talk about it, and I'm not.  They actually told me to let them know if I see any of you.

DARLENE: Gordon listen, I need you to tell the cops I had nothing to do with the sh*t.

GORDON: No way.

DARLENE: Gordon, I need you to tell the cops I had nothing to do with the sh*t.

GORDON: Are you a broken record?  I said No.

(Darlene begins rubbing Gordon's d*ck)

DARLENE: You like it cause you getting hard Gordon.  I didn't know you wanted this p*ssy.  All you had to do was ask.  Sonny flabby fat azz can't f*ck.  I need a muscle man like you Gordon.

GORDON: This is not going to work, Darlene, I know oh oh oh oh oh ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

DARLENE: You like that Gordon?  I hate sucking d*ck when a man has his boxers still on, take them off.

GORDON: Darlene, I can't do this with you, what would the church think

DARLENE:  We have gone to far already Gordon,  take them off, or I'm going to rip them off, let me see that big d*ck.

GORDON: Ok.

(Darlene sucks Gordon's d*ck for about 5 minutes and then she puts her teeth down on his d*ck)

GORDON: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

DARLENE: (With her teeth on Gordon's d*ck,)  Now this is what you going to do you square mutha f*cka.  You are going to pick up that f*cking phone and call the police and tell them I had nothing to do with it, if you say one mutha f*ckin word to them about me being here, I swear on everything I love, I am going to bite your f*ckin d*ck off and put cheese on it and eat that mutha f*cka.

GORDON: Ok, Ok. Ok, just relax Darlene.  I'm calling now.

(Gordon calls police station)

GORDON: Hello can I speak to Officer Young please?

OFFICER YOUNG: This is Young

GORDON: Officer Young, This is Gordon, I just wanted to let you know that the woman named Darlene, had nothing to do with the robbery.

OFFICER YOUNG: Well Gordon, we have your wife Wanda and the gentleman named Deebo in custody right now and from the sound of both of their stories, Darlene set the whole thing up.  Now Gordon, I am going to ask you, why are you lying for this woman?

GORDON: Officer I am not lying, she had nothing to do with it.

OFFICER YOUNG: Gordon we have gathered a lot of information and we believe she defianately played a major part in this robbery.  Gordon, are you in danger right now?  If you are in danger say the words "She did not do anything" If you are not in danger, say the words "Listen Officer Young".

GORDON: She did not do anything

OFFICER YOUNG: I will send cars over there now Gordon.  Do whatever the person says.

GORDON:  Ok, Officer Young

(Gordon hangs up phone)

DARLENE: (D*ck still in her mouth) What did he say?

GORDON: He said ok, he didn't think you had anything to do with it anyway.

DARLENE: I need to get out of here Gordon so we are going to walk out to your car with your d*ck in my mouth.  One stupid move and I will bite this sh*t off.  Get your keys.

(Gordon opens the front door to go out, and Darlene is crawling out with Gordon's d*ck in her mouth)

(The cops pull up as soon as Gordon steps on the porch, Darlene sees the cops and begins sucking Gordon's d*ck fa real.)

OFFICER YOUNG: Gordon why are you letting a suspect in this case give you oral sex?

GORDON: I'm not officer. 

OFFICER YOUNG: You both are under arrest, public sex is not allowed in this town and Miss Darlene we want to question you about the robbery.

(Darlene and Gordon are arrested and brought to the police station)

OFFICER YOUNG: Captain!!!!!!!!!!! There are no open cells for these two, where do you want me to put them?

CAPTAIN: Put the female in with the other female Wanda, put the male in with that Deebo guy until we get room.  Keep an eye on the Deebo and Gordon guy they don't like each other.

(Officer Young escorts Darlene and Gordon to their cells, Darlene goes in the cell and sees Wanda)

DARLENE: Hey d*ck sucker.

WANDA: What the hell are you doing here?  They caught you?  I didn't say sh*t, I swear.

DARLENE: Sound kinda guilty Wanda.

WANDA: What happened?

DARLENE: They caught me sucking Gordon's d*ck on the front porch.

WANDA: You know what Darlene, you go to church every damn day and you aint nothing but a grimey azz slut.

DARLENE: Look who is talking.  The same b*tch who was f*cking three n*ggas at once.  You the slut.

WANDA: I'm a good slut baby. You sucking my husband's d*ck on the front porch is not acceptable.

DARLENE: Ok, so what's good then?  I mean really Wanda, what the f*ck you gonna do?

WANDA: I will slap the sh*t outta you Darlene. (to be continued)

( Meanwhile, Gordon goes in the cell with Deebo)

DEEBO: Oh look who's here.

GORDON: I heard you told on Darlene

DEEBO: You damn right, they going to cut me a deal if I cooperate.

GORDON: Oh really, I will make sure that doesn't happen.  You punched me in my face and had my wife suck your d*ck. 

DEEBO: Don't play with my freedom you lil b*tch. (Deebo grabs Gordon by the throat with his huge hands)

GORDON: I can't breath Deebo, I'm sorry I'm not going to say sh*t, I promise.

(Deebo will not let go, Deebo doesn't know his own strength)

GORDON: (collapses to the ground, Deebo is still holding his neck)

(Officers come running in to break it up, they get there just in time, Gordon is rushed to the hospital but is ok)

OFFICER YOUNG: Well Mr.Deebo, you just added an extra charge onto your charges and we actually have this one on video.

DEEBO: I can bring you Smoke and Spank if you pretend this never happened.

OFFICER YOUNG: Ok, we will let you out but we will have somebody tailing you the whole time.  If you can get Spank and Smoke to admit they were the ones who planned the whole thing with Gordon.  You go free with NO charges.

DEEBO: Deal, let me out.

(Deebo is escorted out the station, two detectives are assigned to follow him everywhere)

OFFICER CHARLES: Hey Young, why the f*ck did you let that azzhole out.  We can get in deep sh*t for that.

OFFICER YOUNG: Who is going to tell?  Gordon is at the hospital, the b*tches are on the other side.  The only people who know about this is law enforcement.  It is going to be perfect.

DEEBO: (Calling Smoke)

SMOKE: Whattup n*gga, heard you got caught.  Why you home?

DEEBO: (trying to get Smoke to admit he was involved) Caught doing what Smoke?

SMOKE: Whoaaaaaaaaaaaaa n*gga, you talking funny. Click (Smoke hangs up on Deebo)

DEEBO: Gott damn, this is going to be harder than I thought.  But I will make it happen.

SMOKE: (Talking to Spank) That was Deebo, that n*gga snitching just like n*ggas is saying.

SPANK: Whoa. Tiara pass the f*cking blunt

TIARA: I am letting you n*ggas hide from the police at my crib, I'm smoking all this sh*t, f*ck you fake azz stick up boy azz n*ggas. (if you don't know who Tiara is, click here to read her story)

SPANK: F*ck you Tiara

TIARA: Yea, well I bet I smoke this whole mutha f*ckin blunt.  Instead of worrying about a blunt, you need to worry about Deebo azz telling on ya azz.

SMOKE: His dumb azz f*cked that up already, I know he snitching now, he can't get me if I know.

SPANK: I got a plan Smoke, have Tiara get Deebo over here.  Have her flirt with him and sh*t and get him over here so we can do um.

SMOKE: Good idea Spank.  Tiara you wit it?

TIARA: Not for free, I aint gonna be rubbin on Deebo dumb azz ballz for nothing.

SMOKE: How much?

TIARA: $800 is straight just to get him over here. 

SMOKE: Ok, let me call him back and see where he at.

(Smoke calls Deebo back)

DEEBO: Hello?

SMOKE: Deebo, where you at my n*gga, my phone went dead before, I was just f*cking with you about the snitchin sh*t.  Where you at?

DEEBO: I'm on 138th.

SMOKE: Oh, ok, I'm gonna call you when I'm in the area.

DEEBO: Ok.

DEEBO: Detective, he's going to meet me.

DETECTIVE: Ok, talk into your mic, I need to see if it works.

DEEBO: (talking into mic) Hello? Hello?

DETECTIVE: Ok it's working fine, don't blow your cover Deebo

DEEBO: I wont

(Tiara pulls up in her car)

TIARA: Deebo!!! Is that you baby?  Where the f*ck you been at?

DEEBO: Oh sh*t Tiara, Wuz good.

TIARA: Been a long time since I seen you and them big azz arms, you lookin good as f*ck n*gga, where ya girl at?

DEEBO: I aint got no girl Tiara.

TIARA: Ohhhhh sh*t, my n*gga lookin good AND he available.  So what we doing tonight?

DEEBO: Ummm, I dunno, I'm chillin waiting for my boy Smoke.

TIARA: You still f*ckin with Smoke, I heard that n*gga going down for some robbery bullsh*t on that dude Gordon.

DEEBO: Oh really. ummmmm, so what's up.

TIARA: Get in the car n*gga, what I gotta do show you this p*ssy for you to get in the car with me.

DEEBO: haha, ok, but when Smoke calls me, I need you to bring me back to 138th

TIARA: No problem.  Take ya shirt off baby, lemme see that chest while I drive.

(15 minutes later, Tiara pulls up in front of her crib, Spank and Smoke are inside waiting for Deebo)

TIARA: Get out the car n*gga

DEEBO: I can't stay mami, I told you I gotta meet smoke.

TIARA: I know n*gga, just come in here and beat this p*ssy real quick, then you can go.

DEEBO: Let's go

(Deebo walks inside and as soon as he walks in Spank and Smoke got guns pointed at him)

SMOKE: Yeaaaaaaaaaa, n*gga.

DEEBO: Smoke, chill son.

SMOKE: Shut the f*ck up n*gga!

DEEBO: Yall n*ggas need to chill, it aint what you think.

DETECTIVE: (in car across the street) Oh sh*t he's in trouble, sounds like they got guns pulled on him.

DEEBO: Just let me explain.

SMOKE: Aint nothing to explain n*gga, I know everything

TIARA: What the f*ck takin you n*ggas so f*ckin long, smoke this n*gga!! Matter of fact, f*ck this, gimme the mutha f*ckin burner (snatches burner)

BLAOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

(Tiara shoots Deebo square in the head)

TIARA: That's how you do that sh*t, b*tch azz n*ggas

SMOKE: What the f*ck you doing?????????????????

DETECTIVE: (on police radio) We need back up now, we need back NOW!!!! Informant down! Informant down!

(The police wait outside for their backup to come)

(While Smoke and Spank are in panic mode, Tiara looks down at Deebo and sees a wire sticking out from his chest)

TIARA: (Thinking to herself) Oh sh*t this whole sh*t was recorded, the police are probably outside right now.  I gotta make it seem like one of these two n*ggas shot this n*gga.

TIARA: (Tiara wipes the gun down without Smoke or Spank seeing her)

TIARA: (Throws gun in the air near Spank) Spank Catch!!!!!!

(Spank turns and sees the gun in the air and his first reaction is to catch it.)

TIARA: Put that somewhere n*gga

SPANK: Where the f*ck you want me to put it?  I'm shaking yo, I'm f*ckin shaking.

TIARA: You sound like a b*tch.

(Tiara looks out the window and sees a strange car and figures that must be where they were listening to Deebo from, she still doesn't say anything about Deebo having the wire on.  Then she sees other cars pull up and all the cops running to the house.  She unlocks the door so they can get in easier and starts some tears down her face)

(The cops kick down the door)

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!

TIARA: Oh my god, thank god you are here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Arrest them, they shot my boy Deebo, Get an ambulance here NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DETECTIVE: Don't worry mam, we are aware of how dangerous these two are, are you ok.

TIARA: I can't breath,

DETECTIVE: Get an ambulance for her.

SPANK: That b*tch is lying!!

SMOKE: She a f*ckin liar yo!!!!!!!!!! She shot that n*gga.

TIARA: (with her body covering Deebo) Please Deebo, Please!!!!!!!!!!!!! stay alive baby, these n*ggas is going to fry in jail for this sh*t

TIARA: Check the finger prints on the gun detective, that will tell you the whole story. 

DETECTIVE: We will mam, we will.

(We will get back to this later)

(Meanwhile back at the hospital Gordon is recovering from Deebo damn near killing his azz)

NURSE: Ok handsome, the doctor said he is going to let you out tommorow.

GORDON: Thank you nurse, you have been so kind and sweet to me, I would much rather stay here with you than go back to the jail.

NURSE: Yea, about that Mr.Gordon, how much is your bail and what did you do?

GORDON: I don't have a bail and I was arrested for getting oral sex in public but I wasn't the girl was holding my penis in her mouth and was threatning to bite it off if I didn't do what she said and then the cops pulled up.

NURSE: I am shocked to hear that about you Gordon, after all our talking about the lord, that just shocks me.

GORDON: I know, but I am really not like that.  I had just broke up with my wife and it's a long crazy story but the bottom line is, I am really attracted to you, and I would like to see you again.

NURSE: Well Gordon, only god can judge us.  I am not going to judge you.  I know you have been the ultimate gentlemen during your stay here and I am going to be at court in the morning to see if I can get you out.  I really want you to explain the whole situation to me.

GORDON: You are an angel Nurse Rogers.

(The next morning Gordon is getting ready to go to court and there are 4 people going to court with him, it's Darlene and Wanda and Spank and Smoke are going also for the murder of Deebo.)

(on the ride to court Spank, Smoke and Gordon are shackeled on one truck together and the girls are on a seperate truck, nobody is saying anything, Gordon is assuming Smoke and Spank are going to court for what happened at Wanda's house, he doesn't know Deebo was killed)

GORDON: Excuse me brothas but I just want to ask one thing, you can answer this for me and never have to say anything to me for the rest of the ride.  "Where is Deebo?"

(no response)

SPANK: (Whispering to Smoke) This n*gga knows a lot Smoke and he don't even know about Deebo yet.

SMOKE: (Whispering back to Spank) Yea, I know, we gotta find a way to kill all these mutha f*ckas even my cousin Darlene cause they going to use all of them to testify about us and we need to kill that b*tch Tiara to cause she is too f*ckin smart for her own good.

SPANK: (Whispering) So that's 5 people we need murked.

SMOKE: Yup, I know somebody who can do it.  Tiara cousin Stacey can take Tiara out and the other four, I'm going to call my white boy "BodyBags"

(The trucks arrive at the courthouse)

(The prosecutor asked the judge to continue everyones case so they can gather more evidence on the crimes.  Smoke and Spank were given 3 million dollar bails, Darlene was given a $100,000 bail, Wanda was given a $25,000 bail and Gordon was given a $5,000 bail)

NURSE: (talking to bondsman) So how much is Gordon's bail?

BONDSMAN: $5,000

NURSE: I have $2,500

BONDSMAN: Ok, I will take it, I'll get him out for you.

NURSE: Thank you

(Gordon is released, nobody else was able to post bail, so they are all going to the county jail)

GORDON: (outside courthouse) Thank you so much Nurse.

NURSE: Don't call me nurse, call me Michelle

GORDON: How could I ever repay you?

MICHELLE: I just want you to come with me to church every Sunday.

GORDON: That's no problem Michelle.

MICHELLE: And I want you to stay with me at my home.

GORDON: Heck, I have no where else to go.

MICHELLE: Ok let's go.  I just want to let you know, don't think you are going to be getting any sex from me cause I am not like that.

GORDON: Michelle, you have done so much for me, there is no way I would disrespect you.

MICHELLE: Ok. Let's go home

(They arrive at Michelle's house)

MICHELLE: Take your shoes off

GORDON: Ok

MICHELLE: I am going upstairs to take a shower, I will be right back down.

GORDON: Ok, can I watch TV?

MICHELLE: Sure.

(While Gordon is watching TV, he hears a knock on the door)

GORDON: Ummm, who is it?

GUY AT DOOR: Its Barry!

MICHELLE: Michelle is in the shower.

GUY AT DOOR: N*gga open the f*ckin door.

GORDON: Hold on, be right back, let me tell her that you are here

(Gordon goes upstairs and sees that Michelle is showering with bathroom door open and she has a see-through shower door, he sees everything and his d*ck gets instantly hard)

GORDON: Holy sugarplums!! Oh my god, I hope she didn't see me.

GORDON: Michelle!!!!!!

MICHELLE: Gordon!!!!!!!!!!! What are you doing up here!!!!???

GORDON: I'm sorry, somebody is at the door for you, a guy named Barry.

MICHELLE: Oh my god Gordon, do NOT open that door, he's my ex husband who has been stalking me for the past three months.  He must of seen you come in.  Ohhh NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Michelle steps out the shower butt azz naked, When you think of Michelle, think of Beyonce in a nurses outfit, she puts one hand over her p*ssy and the other arm over her breasts so Gordon doesn't see anything.)

MICHELLE: Pass me a towel

GORDON: Here, I am so sorry, I wouldn't of come up if I knew you were indecent

MICHELLE: Nevermind that Gordon, Barry is at the door!!! What am I going to do?  I need you to go down there and pretend your my boyfriend who just moved in.

GORDON: What?

MICHELLE: Gordon, please.

GORDON: Umm, ok.

(Gordon opens door)

BARRY: Who the f*ck are you n*gga?

GORDON: My names Gordon.  How can I help you.

BARRY: Looking for Michelle

GORDON: Michelle doesn't want to see you brotha.

BARRY: (pushes Gordon out the way and walks in)  Where the f*ck is this b*tch at? (walks upstairs and sees Michelle at the stairs with just the towel on still)

GORDON: (Chasing behind Barry) Listen brotha she don't want to see you.

BARRY: Michelle why you not answering my calls?

MICHELLE: Barry, I have been busy working, I have no time to talk.

BARRY: What is this b*tch azz n*gga talking about, that you don't want to see me.

MICHELLE: I didn't tell him that Barry, I just told him to come down and see what you wanted. 

GORDON: What!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BARRY: So what's going on Michelle?  What's da deal?  Why you in your towel, are you f*cking this dude now?

MICHELLE: Oh no Barry.  He is just somebody who is in a bad situation.  And I am helping him.

BARRY: Well he has to go, I don't want him here.

MICHELLE: Ok Barry, Gordon get out.

GORDON: What the hickory????????????

BARRY: You got 10 seconds to open that door and get the f*ck out n*gga.

GORDON: What in the hula hoops is going on here?

BARRY: I'm her man n*gga, why the f*ck you can't see that.

(While Barry is saying that to Gordon, Michelle is behind Barry shaking her head and lip synching to Gordon that she will come get him later, she also is lip synching that "Barry is crazy, he will kill me")

BARRY: N*gga why you lookin at my b*tch while I'm talking to you!!!??

MICHELLE: Barry please relax he is leaving, Gordon LEAVE NOW!! I'm sorry but you can't stay here.

BARRY: I don't even know why you brought him here Michelle, that's pretty disrespectful.  Then I get here and you butt naked with a towel on soak and wet.  Do you love me Michelle?

MICHELLE: Of course I do Barry.

BARRY: We still getting married?

MICHELLE: Yes Barry.

BARRY:  This sh*t don't look good Michelle, for some reason I think you f*cking this n*gga.

MICHELLE: I'm not Barry.

BARRY: You know what Gordon, have a seat.  Don't leave yet.

MICHELLE: Barry, I am sorry if it looks like something, but it's not, I was just helping him, that's it.

BARRY: Michelle shut the f*ck up.

GORDON: Brotha, I am going to get out of here and let you two work out whatever you need to work out.

BARRY: N*gga I said sit down.  You look familiar.  I think I seen you on the news a couple days ago.   All the sh*t is coming to me now the more I look at you.  I should break ya f*ckin nose n*gga.

GORDON: I don't know why you would do that brotha, I did nothing wrong to you.

BARRY: We going to see about that, but my cousin Sonny said his wife Darlene got caught sucking somebody d*ck on the front porch.  Michelle get Sonny on the phone for me baby.

MICHELLE: (under her breath) oh my god. (out loud) Ok honey!!!

BARRY: B*tch you taking too long, hurry the f*ck up and get Sonny on the phone!

GORDON: Is it really neccessary to call her a b-word?

BARRY: What the f*ck you say n*gga?

GORDON: I just don't think it's neccessary, she's a beautiful black woman

BARRY: I will break your f*ckin jaw n*gga.

GORDON: (Thinking to himself) I am sick and tired of these huligans trying to bully me.  There comes a point in a man's life where he must defend himself.  I think I am going to swing on him.  Yes, that's what I am going to do, I am going to cock my fist back and aim right for his chin.  Let me take a deep breath.  Ok.  Here it goes.

BAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!

MICHELLE: Oh my god!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BARRY: (Smiling) Is that all you got n*gga.  You hit like my Aunt Helen mutha f*cka.  Let me show you how to hit a mutha f*cka.

GORDON: Please don't hit me.  I will do anything you say sir, pleaseeeeeeeee don't hit me.

BARRY: Ohhhhhhhhh, now I'm sir huh mutha f*cka.  You know what, because you hit me like a b*tch, I'm going to have my b*tch hit you.  Michelle, punch this mutha f*cka in his face.

MICHELLE: What!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BARRY: I want you to punch him in his face like he did to me.  You not going to defend me?  If I hit him, I'm gonna knock his head into the sink.  I'm doing ya boy a favor by letting you hit him.

MICHELLE: Barry, you have lost your mind.

BARRY: Quit the talking and hit him or I'm gonna lose my mind on both of ya azzes.

MICHELLE: Ok Barry, just calm down, I will hit him, where do you want me to hit him at?

BARRY: In his nose.  Right on the front of his nose.  And I don't want no love tap either, when you hit that mutha f*cka you better hit him like you mean it, I know the difference, if you don't hit him as hard as you can, I am going to O.J. Simpson both you mutha f*ckas in this house.

MICHELLE: Ok, Ok, I understand Barry.  I will do it.

BARRY: Ok, Gordon bring your nose over here and let my B*TCH!! punch you.

(Gordon walks over towards Michelle)

BARRY: When I count the three, hit um Michelle.

MICHELLE: Ok.

BARRY: one

BARRY: two

BARRY: three

GORDON: SCUMDOODLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Gordon punches Michelle right in her nose and attempts to run out the house)

BARRY: Get back here mutha f*cka!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Barry starts chasing Gordon)

GORDON: (While running super fast) You not gonna catch ole Gordon, Mr. Barry.  You might as well give up.  I was All State in track in High School.  You might as well give up.

BARRY: (Getting tired and gives up) I'm gonna see ya uncle Tom azz again mutha f*cka!

(Gordon runs and catches a cab)

CAB DRIVER: Where you going buddy?

GORDON: I don't know, just drive, I will tell you when to stop.

(While the cab is driving, the cab stops and picks up a beautiful young lady, the young lady gets in the cab)

CAB DRIVER: Where are you going Miss?

YOUNG LADY.  Club 129

CAB DRIVER: Ok

GORDON: Hello

YOUNG LADY: Wuz good.

GORDON: My name is Gordon, and who do I have the pleasure of speaking with?

YOUNG LADY: I'm good son.

GORDON: I just would like to know your name, my name is Gordon.

(Immediately the young ladies eyes light up and she looks at Gordon in complete shock)

YOUNG LADY: You said ya name is Gordon?

GORDON: Yes it is my little cupcake with rainbow sprinkles and a candle being lit with a red lighter.  Yes it is.

YOUNG LADY: Oh, I have heard of you.  My name is Tiara.

GORDON: Well Tiara, do you mind if I accompany you to this club you going to?

TIARA: You got money n*gga?

GORDON: I don't have a dime to my name.

TIARA: (thinking to herself) damn, I was gonna rob the sh*t out this n*gga, Smoke and Spank told me this n*gga was p*ssy.

GORDON: Why do you ask?

TIARA: Cause you need money to get in the club,  

GORDON: Ummmm, I may have $20 in the bank, I just need to find a ATM machine.

TIARA: Yo cabbie, pull over so my n*gga can go to the ATM real quick

CAB DRIVER: Yes Miss.

TIARA:  Go head n*gga.  If you got more money, take it all out cause yo, this club is crazy son, I want you to have a good time with me.

GORDON: (with big smile) Ok cupcake.

(Gordon comes back from the ATM machine)

GORDON: I had 75 dollars in there, wow, don't know where that came from, but let's go my little strawberry pop-tart.

TIARA: Ok good, let's go cabbie, what the f*ck you waiting for n*gga, you trying to run the meter up on me mutha f*cka?

CAB DRIVER: No, No, not at all, I'm leaving.

(They arrive at Club 129, Gordon and Tiara walk in)

GORDON: (walking in club and seeing naked women dancing on stage) Holy hippo knuckles!!!!  What kind of club is this Tiara?

TIARA: I work here n*gga.

GORDON: Are you a ummmmm, how can I say this nicely a "dancer?"

TIARA: N*gga, I'm a f*ckin stripper, and I'm bout to take all my clothes off and dance on that stage and make ya d*ck hard as f*ck.

GORDON: (Imagining the sight of this beautiful Beyonce looking female being butt naked on the stage)  Where do I sit?

TIARA: Sit close to the stage.

GORDON: Ok my little jelly biscuit

(On her way backstage, Tiara talks to her boy Ruffy)

TIARA: Ruffy!!!!!!! What up n*gga?  I need a favor.

RUFFY: Anything for you sexy.

TIARA: I need you to bump into that n*gga over there, his name is Gordon.  I need you to bump into him and spill your drink, then act like you about to f*ck him up.  Then I am going to come over and front like I'm saving him and I'm sticking up for him.  I'm trying to rob the sh*t out this n*gga, I know he got money somewhere, I just gotta find it.  If he see me do that for him, he will trust me.

RUFFY: What I get?

TIARA: What you want n*gga?  And don't say no crazy sh*t either mutha f*cka.

RUFFY: I want 25% of whatever you get the n*gga for.

TIARA: 25%!!!?? F*ck it n*gga I will find somebody else to do it.

RUFFY: Hold up, hold up, ok, ummm, I want to watch you f*ck him.

TIARA: What the f*ck???????? You STILL be on that freaky azz bullsh*t n*gga.  Who said I was gonna f*ck the n*gga?

RUFFY: I know you Tiara, you will use that p*ssy for whatever.

TIARA: F*ck it, yea you can watch n*gga.

RUFFY: That's wassup.

TIARA: You be on some real pervert sh*t fa real n*gga.  He a square though, so you might not be entertained.

RUFFY:  As long as I get to finally see that fat azz you got in action, I will be entertained.

TIARA: Whateva n*gga, quit talking and go bump into the n*gga.

RUFFY: Alright, who is it, that funny lookin n*gga at the stage with the high top fade with the part in it?

TIARA: Yea.

RUFFY:  Watch Ruffy do his thing.

(Ruffy starts walking over to Gordon and bumps into Gordon and spills his drink on the floor)

RUFFY: Mutha f*cka, look what the f*ck you did!!!

GORDON: Oh, sir, I apologize, I am so sorry, let me help you wipe it off, bartender!! Can I get some napkins?

RUFFY: Yea, you gonna need a napkin for when I break ya mutha f*ckin nose.

GORDON: Brotha, plz calm down, I got $65 on me, here take it.  Hope that makes everything better

(Tiara sees Gordon going into his pocket about to pay Ruffy, so she acts fast)

TIARA: Yo Ruffy!! Leave my n*gga Gordon alone real talk, yo Gordon put ya f*ckin money away this b*tch azz n*gga aint about to do sh*t.  Take yo azz somewhere Ruffy, this is my n*gga right here, one day he might be my man so don't disrespect me or I will disrespect ya whole sh*t p*ssy.

(Ruffy saw that Gordon was about to give him $65 and he is thinking about saying f*ck Tiara plan and get paid)

GORDON: Tiara, I appreciate you sticking up for me but I am a man and I can handle myself.  Let me just give the gentleman some money to take care of what I did.

TIARA: Don't give that n*gga sh*t, Yo Ruffy, I'm telling you right now son, take that f*ckin ice grill off ya f*ckin face cause I will blow ya mutha f*ckin brains out, you know how I get down Ruffy.  Test me Ruffy.

(Ruffy still thinking about that $65.  Ruffy thinking that sh*t would be better than watching Tiara f*ck this n*gga, Ruffy about to say f*ck that plan.)

TIARA: Test me Ruffy.  I want you to, real talk, I been itching to pop a mutha f*cka, I'm having withdrawals from holding my hammer.  Test me n*gga.  (Tiara is noticing that Ruffy is thinking about backing out and taking Gordon's money so her voice is getting serious)

RUFFY: Listen Gordon, gimmie the $65 and we good.

GORDON: No problem brotha here (has Gordon holds the money out, Tiara snatches it out Gordon's hand)

TIARA: Gimmie that sh*t.

GORDON: What are you doing sugarwater?

RUFFY: Tiara, stop playing, don't start.

TIARA: F*ck that yo, Gordon, I can't let you do that, if you gonna be my man, you need to be able to stick up for ya self.  Are you a man n*gga?  Let me check.

(Tiara touches Gordon's crotch and rubs that sh*t, she thinking to herself "damn he got big d*ck")

TIARA: Well sh*t, I feel a d*ck but I don't know if you a man.  Do you want me Gordon?  If you want this p*ssy you gotta stick up for ya self.  F*ck this n*gga up right now.  Yo Bouncer Close the f*ckin front door and let my n*gga get it in real quick.

RUFFY: Tiara gimmie my---------------

TIARA: Shut up p*ssy, you aint gettin sh*t. (Tiara is really pissed at Ruffy cause he backed out on the deal)

TIARA: Now Gordon, I like you a lot, but I really need a man who is going to stick up for himself.  So I need you to beat his azz.  If you beat his azz, I am yours and my p*ssy is yours baby.

TIARA: Gordon hit that n*gga.  Now!!!!

GORDON: (scared by Tiara's yelling, swings and hits Ruffy in the jaw) BAMMMMMMMMMMMMM!

RUFFY: (Grabs his jaw and starts to go after Gordon)

TIARA: Don't even think about it p*ssy. (Tiara pulls out her burner and holds it directly at Ruffy's forehead)

TIARA: Ruffy, you and I know we had a mutha f*ckin deal n*gga, how dare you disrespect the queen b*tch.  You know who the queen b*tch is?

RUFFY: Yes

TIARA: Who the queen b*tch Ruffy?  Say here name.

RUFFY: Tiara.

TIARA: Yeaaaaaaaaaaa n*gga, I like when you sound like a shook lil boy.  Gordon, kick this n*gga in his ballz, he aint gonna do sh*t.

GORDON: (Scared to death of the gun Tiara has, kicks Ruffy in the ballz) BAMMMMMMMMMMMMM!

RUFFY: (Bends over holding his ballz, then hops up real quick and knocks the gun out of Tiara's hand)

(Ruffy runs for the gun on the floor and Tiara dives for it with him, Gordon sees Ruffy overpowering Tiara and sees Ruffy about to grab the gun)

GORDON: (Grabs two liquor bottles and busts Ruffy in the back of the head with both of them, Ruffy is out cold, Tiara gets up mad as f*ck, grabs the gun and out of pure anger fires 6 shots into Ruffy and grabs Gordon by the arm and says lets go.)

(They flag down a cab)

CAB DRIVER: Where you going?

TIARA: Hotel!!! Gordon, stay down with me, stay out of the window, we can't be seen.  Trust me, just do what I say.

GORDON: I don't know how much more of this silly putty I can take Tiara.

TIARA: Relax son, you saved my life.  We going to the hotel.  Just relax.  I never had a man do anything like that for me before.  I'm gonna make it up to you tonight.  (Tiara leans over and kisses Gordon while grabbing his d*ck)

TIARA: Big d*ck mutha f*cka, we gonna have fun tonight.

(Tiara and Gordon get into the hotel room)

TIARA: Yo n*gga you know you saved my life right?

GORDON: I don't know, I just reacted cinnamon sponge.

TIARA: Well, I want to repay you.

GORDON: How will you do that?

TIARA: Just lay back and let me do my thing.

(Tiara sucks and f*cks Gordon for a good 5 hours straight after they are finished, Gordon is mesmerized)

GORDON: I think that's the best sex I ever had in my life.  Will you marry me?

TIARA: Of course Gordon, I thought you was already married though.

GORDON: Oh yea, that's right.  Sh*t!  I wonder what is going on with them.

TIARA: But Gordon, the answer is "yes" I will marry you as soon as your divorce is final.  Then we can have little Gordon's running around and be one happy family.

GORDON: I can't wait boo bubbles.

TIARA: I Love you Gordon.

GORDON: I love you too Tiara.

TIARA: Gordon, I love the way you make me feel.  Is it ok if I suck and f*ck that big azz d*ck again?

GORDON: Go head

TIARA: That d*ck is the best I ever had.

GORDON: Oh really.

TIARA: Hol on Gordon.  I'm not a whore, so before we do this again, tell me something about yourself, so I feel better about freaking you off like this.

GORDON: I was born in Iowa, then I moved out here at the age of 12 met Wanda at 19--------------

TIARA: Gordon stop, I want to know how you are going to support me and our kids.

GORDON: Oh well, I have money in a special account, but I don't touch that.  That is for when I'm old.

TIARA: Is it enough to support our future family?  How much is it?

GORDON: Well right now it's at about $105,000

TIARA: (p*ssy just got wet) Ok, say no more, lay back n*gga.  Round Two.

(After Gordon and Tiara finished Round 2, they hear a knock on the door)

MAN AT DOOR: (Knocking)

TIARA: Get the door baby.

GORDON: I'm not dressed Twinkie filling.

TIARA: Ok baby if it's a man, you answer, if it's a girl, I will answer.

GORDON: Sounds good.  "Who is it!!!!"

MAN AT DOOR: Jose, I'm in the room next door.

TIARA: Ok n*gga, go answer it.

GORDON: (opens door) Hey brotha, how are you doing?

JOSE: I'm chillin son, listen you and ya girl making a lot of noise in there, do you think you can keep it down?

GORDON: No problem, sorry about the noise, we will try to keep it down.

JOSE: Cool

(Gordon shuts door)

JOSE: (Goes back in room and calls Smoke who is out on bail)

JOSE: Smoke, you was right, they is in that room.

SMOKE: Ok, you aint make sh*t hot did you n*gga?

JOSE: Nah, I played it cool as f*ck.

SMOKE: Is that b*tch in there with them n*ggas?

JOSE: Yea, Tiara in there, butt azz naked too, I almost seen a titty.

SMOKE: N*gga shut the f*ck up.  Listen,  they going to be there for awhile, Tiara clapped Ruffy at the strip club so she aint leaving that room no time soon.  I need you to stay there as long as they are there.

JOSE: Whoa son, you only paid me to check and see if they was in there.  Where the rest of the money for all that?

SMOKE: I'm going to have this chick Wanda drop it off to you.

JOSE: Tell the b*tch to hurry the f*ck up, I have no patience

SMOKE: Hol on, I'm gonna tell her now.  Wanda baby, stop for a sec.

(Wanda stops giving Smoke head)

WANDA: What? 

SMOKE: I need you to drop some money off to Jose at the Hotel.

WANDA: Ok.

SMOKE: Ya man Gordon is there with this chick named Tiara too.

(Wanda is fuming, but she doesn't let Smoke see it)

WANDA: Ok and?  I don't give a f*ck about that square azz n*gga no more.

SMOKE: Well here take this money and go, you can take my car.  Hurry up, I don't want Jose to leave.

WANDA: Ok, can I give ya d*ck a goodbye kiss?

SMOKE: Go head.

(Wanda slobs the sh*t out of the head of Smoke's d*ck)

WANDA: When we gonna get those gangbangs poppin again, love dat sh*t.

SMOKE: We got a lot of people to kill Wanda, I aint thinking bout that sh*t right now.

(Wanda leaves and goes to hotel to pay Jose.  She didn't tell Smoke that she was going to check on Gordon too.)

WANDA: (Calling Jose, phone ringing)

JOSE: Hello?

WANDA: Yo this is Wanda, Smoke's girl, I'm here, what room you in?

JOSE: 344

WANDA: Ok, I'm coming, leave door open

JOSE: Yea (Jose is a freaky mutha f*cka so he took off all his clothes so he could answer the door butt naked for Wanda)

(Wanda knocks on the door and walks in)

WANDA: Why the f*ck is you in here butt naked?

JOSE: Just relaxing, you got the money?

WANDA: Yea, here.  Listen, I need to know what room Gordon and his woman are in?

JOSE: That type of info is going to cost you.

WANDA: N*gga I just paid you.  I aint got no more money.

JOSE:  Well, I guess you going to be sucking this puerto rican d*ck then.

WANDA:  No problem, then you will tell me.

JOSE: Absolutely

WANDA: Let's do it.  (Wanda gets down on her knees and grabs Jose d*ck)

JOSE: Hol up, I like to get head with the shorty azz naked.  Take off ya clothes.

WANDA: Ok.  (Wanda strips)

JOSE: (Jose begins f*cking Wanda's mouth like crazy and Wanda is getting horny, she begins playing with herself while Jose is f*cking her mouth.)

WANDA:  Just f*ck me!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JOSE: (Begins f*cking the sh*t out of Wanda, banging the bed up against the wall of Gordon and Tiara)

(Meanwhile in Gordon in Tiara's room)

TIARA: Damn, homeboy who just came to the door over there gettin some azz, you hear that?

GORDON: Yea, I here it, the nerve of that gentleman, coming over here telling us to keep it down and he is louder than we were.

TIARA: Go over there and tell him to keep it down, just to be funny

GORDON: I don't mind Tiara.

TIARA: I know, but just to be f*ckin with that n*gga, do it.

GORDON: No.

TIARA: Stop being a f*ckin b*tch Gordon.  What did I tell you about n*ggas I f*ck with?  N*ggas gotta be hardbody.  You hardbody Gordon?

GORDON: Speak english woman, what in the camel's hump is "hardbody?"

TIARA:  Just take yo azz over there n*gga.

GORDON: Ok, Ok.

(Gordon puts on his robe and walks next door, as he gets to the door, he sees that it is cracked open a little bit, he opens it a little bit and takes a peek inside

GORDON: Holy Glazed Goat Boogers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wanda what the hell are you doing in here?  And with this hoodlum???????????

(Wanda tries to get Jose off of her, but he pulls her closer)

JOSE:  Stay here b*tch!  Keep f*ckin while this n*gga watch.

WANDA: Who you here with Gordon? (while still f*cking Jose)

GORDON: I can't believe you.  I thought you were in jail???????

WANDA: You thought wrong n*gga, f*ck me harder chico!

(Jose begins to go into "beast mode" and starts just pumpin like a mad man.)

GORDON: I can't believe this, I'm going to get Tiara.

(Gordon goes back to the room and tells Tiara what happened)

TIARA: She f*ckin the n*gga right now?

GORDON: Yes, right now as we speak.

TIARA: F*ck you want me to do baby?

GORDON: Let me see that gun.

TIARA: What?  Why are you upset?  Do you still have feelings for that girl?

GORDON: No.  Just come back over there with me so I can find out what she is doing here.

TIARA: Yea, I'm kinda curious about that too.

(Gordon and Tiara walk next door, the door is open, Jose is still in there going hard up in Wanda)

TIARA: Dayummmm, he is f*cking the grape jelly out that b*tch!

GORDON: Tiara!!!!!!!!

TIARA: My badd baby.

(Wanda looks at Tiara)

WANDA: (While she still f*ckin) So you the one who took my baby from me?

TIARA: Listen b*tch I aint with all the bullsh*t.  Gordon already told me you f*ck with Smoke police azz.  I heard the n*gga made bond.  How?  I dont know yet.

(Jose looks at Tiara and he gets a lil scared)

TIARA: Why you look like that son?  You know smoke n*gga?  Smoke sent you over here n*gga?  Smoke sent both of you over here?

(Jose jumps out the p*ssy and goes for his coat, Tiara pulls out her burner)

TIARA: Don't move n*gga, b*tch you stay right there.  Gordon, check that n*gga coat and see what he was going for.

(Gordon goes through Jose's coat and grabs his burner.)

TIARA: Ohhhh sh*t, *singing* Tiara got two guns, Tiara got two guns, I got two guns.

TIARA: I'm sayin Mr. Jose, let me ask you a question, and I need a honest answer, if I don't get a honest answer, I'm gonna blow ya mutha f*ckin brains out.

JOSE: What?

TIARA: If you would of got to your gun, what was you gonna do?

JOSE: I was just gonna point it at you, that's it.  Just to back you off a lil bit.  That's it.

BLOAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

(Tiara shoots and kills Jose)

GORDON: Holy crocodile circles!

TIARA: Now you, nasty b*tch on the bed, I'm gonna ask you a question and I need a honest answer, if I don't get a honest answer, I'm gonna blow ya mutha f*ckin brains out.

WANDA: (crying) What?

TIARA: Who can f*ck better?  Gordon or Jose?

WANDA: I'm going to say Gordon.

TIARA: You just saying that cause you think it's going to save ya life.  Guess what?  It did.  Come with me in the other room and let me talk to you.

(Wanda gets off the bed and walks in the other room, Gordon stays in the room with the dead body)

TIARA: Listen Wanda, I need to know some things about Gordon.  Where do he keep his money?

WANDA: Well he only keeps a little bit in the bank, he doesn't trust banks. 

TIARA: So where does he keep it.

WANDA:  If you go on the highway, when you see the sign that says "Exit 44 one mile" pull over to the side of the road and go in back in the woods and you will see a purple snapple box.  It looks like garbage, but if you take 20 steps past the snapple box you will see a dirty blanket, if you lift it up and dig a little bit you will find it.

TIARA: Now, was that hard mami?

WANDA: No mam

BLAOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

(Tiara kills Wanda)

TIARA:  (Talking to herself) I really don't know who Smoke think he f*ckin wit, but I aint f*ckin stupid.  I run this city.  Me.  My name is mutha f*ckin Tiara "lay um down" Rogers and I don't appreciate Gordon lying to me about the $105,000 being in a bank account

(Gordon comes in room and sees Wanda's bloody body stretched out on the bed)

GORDON: What in the happy hula hoops is wrong with you woman!!!!!  Do you just run around killing everybody??????????

TIARA: Shut up n*gga, you sound like a b*tch.  Why you lie to me?

GORDON: Lie to you about what?

TIARA: Nothing.  We gotta get out of here.

GORDON: The things you get me involved in woman.

TIARA: I gotta take a shower and get this blood off of me.  I will be right back.

(While Tiara is in the shower, Gordon is looking at Wanda's dead body and picks up Tiara's phone and decides he wants to call the police, he is scared, that he is going to end up with life in prison if he doesn't report these murders)

GORDON: (phone is ringing)

911: Hello? What's the emergency?

GORDON: Um, yes 911?-------------------

TIARA: Gordon!!!!!!!!!!!! (Tiara comes out of the shower.)  Can you go downstairs and get some more washcloths and soap?

(Gordon ends call real quick)

GORDON: Ok, (Gordon leaves Tiara's phone on the bed and goes downstairs)

(When Gordon goes downstairs, Tiara comes out the bathroom)

TIARA: (Talking to herself) This mutha f*cka think I can't hear his azz on my phone with the police.  If I aint need that $105,000, I would murder that mutha f*cka right now.

(Tiara phone starts ringing, it's the police calling back because Gordon hung up the phone)

TIARA: (Looking at phone id) Oh sh*t.  It's the f*ckin cops.  This dumb f*ck.  I need to think fast.  F*ck it.

TIARA: Hello?

911: We just received a call from a gentleman there and the call got disconnected.

TIARA: Um yea, The guy's name is Gordon, he just murdered two people in this hotel, a man and a woman.  One of the women is his ex wife and the other is the man he caught her in the bed with.  I am scared for my life, can you PLEASE get here as soon as possible, I am looking at two dead bodies right now and he told me if I call you, I'm next.  I tried to call you a minute ago but he snatched the phone from me, just as you answered it.

911: Ok we will send authorities over there, just remain calm.

TIARA: (Crying) Pleaseee, he's going to kill me  TOO!!!

GORDON: (Comes back in room) Here are the towels.

TIARA: (Hangs up phone) Thank you baby, I just air dried though, you late.  Let's get the f*ck outta here, I I think somebody called the cops.  I heard somebody yell, when I let them shots off.

GORDON: Ok, good idea, I want to get out of here to. (Gordon is thinking of a way to get away from Tiara for 2 minutes so he can call the cops)

(Tiara is scheming on how to get Gordon to take her to that money on the highway)

GORDON: Where are we going to go?

TIARA: I don't care but we can't stay in the city, we gotta get on the highway.  I know doggie at Enterprise, he will let me get a car for cash.  You got cash?

GORDON: I don't have anything on me.

TIARA: Damn, ok, this n*gga at Enterprise is a p*ssy, I think I can get the n*gga to give me the car, I will just tell him the situation.  He is the manager, so it shouldn't be no problem.

(Tiara and Gordon go to Enterprise and pick up a car, now they are on the highway)

GORDON: Tiara, what do you think is going to happen with those murders you just committed?

TIARA: First of all, we not going to talk about that ever again, ya heard?  This is the last time I want to hear that sh*t come out ya mouth, ok baby?

GORDON: Uh Uh, ok, sorry.

TIARA: (Tiara gets right to Exit 44 where Wanda said Gordon's money is)  I gotta take a piss Gordon, I am pulling over.

GORDON: What type of woman pisses on the side of the highway.

TIARA: Me n*gga, now come with me.

GORDON: Why do I need to come with you?

TIARA: Cause I said so, you starting to really piss me off Gordon, you don't want to do that son.

GORDON: Ok, I'm coming.

TIARA: (Tiara walks right in the direction that Wanda told her, she sees the blanket Wanda was talking about)  I'm gonna piss right here.

GORDON: Go head woman, you don't have to make an announcement.

TIARA: I wonder why somebody would have a blanket out here?  F*ck you need a blanket in the woods for?  They must of been f*ckin out here.

GORDON: I have no idea.

TIARA: Looks like something is under that sh*t, huh Gordon?  I'm gonna lift it up cause my curiousity is killing me.

(Tiara begins to lift up blanket)

*Police Sirens* (The State Police have pulled up behind Tiara's rent a car on the highway, the cops can't see Tiara and Gordon in the woods, they both just sit back and watch what happens.)

(Tiara is looking at Gordon's eyes to see if he is going to tell, she doesn't have her burner on her, she left it in the car, Tiara doesn't know what the f*ck to do, she can't overpower Gordon without her burner.  She can see the cops looking at the car)

GORDON: Holy baby formula!!!!!!  The cops are looking at the car.

TIARA: Oh sh*t, (Tiara rips off blanket and grabs Gordon's money)

GORDON: You little hussy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TIARA: (Doesn't tell Gordon that she left gun in the car, she pretends like she has it on her)

TIARA: Yea n*gga, now if you try anything crazy I will blow ya mutha f*ckin brains out in these woods.

GORDON: How in the heck did you know it was there?

TIARA: Don't worry bout all that, get face down on the ground now n*gga, I aint gonna ask you again.

(Gordon gets face down on the ground)

TIARA: Stay like that until I come back.

(Tiara quietly walks over to the cop, she sees the cop looking in the windows of the car, she goes behind the cop and grabs his gun out the holster)

BLAOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

(Lays the cop out point blank in the road, she goes back to the spot to get Gordon but when she gets there Gordon is gone.)

TIARA: Oh sh*t!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Where did this mutha f*cka go?  F*CK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Tiara runs back to the rent a car backs up to the run the cop over and pulls off, as she is driving she is looking in the woods to see if she sees Gordon and she sees some n*gga in the woods running, she pulls over and jumps out the car, she knows she has to get this n*gga quick before the cops backup comes)

TIARA: Get yo azz over here n*gga! BLAOWWWWWWWW!  BLAOWWWWWWWWWW!  I see you mutha f*cka.

(Gordon gets hit in the leg and falls, Tiara runs over to him)

TIARA: (standing over Gordon) I got the money, I know you gonna snitch and you in the woods where nobody will see yo azz for few days, this is a easy decision.  (Tiara points the gun at Gordon's head)

GORDON: Tiara please don't shoot me, I can't do anything, I can't even walk!

TIARA: (thinking to herself) I need somebody to take those bodies.  If I kill this n*gga then, they don't have nobody to charge which may make them look at me.

TIARA: Listen Gordon it's your lucky day

(Tiara pulls out the gun that was used to kill Ruffie, Jose and Wanda and wipes it off and takes the bullets out)

TIARA:  Gordon, hold this and point it at me.

GORDON: Anything you say Tiara, anything you say, now what?

TIARA: Now pull the trigger a few times

(Gordon pulls trigger)

"click" "click" "click" "click"

TIARA: Ok now throw it as far as you can over your head.

(Gordon tosses the gun about 15 yards over his head)

TIARA: (pulls out cell phone and calls 911)

911: Whats the emergency?

TIARA: I Called earlier about a man named Gordon who killed his wife and his wife's lover, he got in a shootout on the highway with a cop and got hit in the leg, he is stuck on the highway right now.

911: I will send officers out there.  Thank you for your help Miss.

TIARA: Anything to help get rid of these scumbag murderers and take our streets back.

911: I agree with you 100%

(Tiara hangs up)

TIARA: Yea n*gga, you going to jail you f*ckin p*ssy.  Ya prints is all over this gun, you got shot with the dead cop's gun, your ex wife and her lover are dead at the hotel.  Everything points to you kid.  Ya life is over.

GORDON: I need a ambulance

TIARA: When the police come they will help you out.  I'm out son.  $105,000 richer.  I'm leaving the f*cking country.  Gimmie a kiss you punk mutha f*cka. hahahahahahahaha. Bye Gordon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TIARA: (pulls off, as she is driving she hears on the radio that a man who murdered multiple people including a police officer has been captured on the highway)

TIARA: Yesssssssssssss, let me call this n*gga Smoke.

(phone ringing)

SMOKE: Hello?

TIARA: My n*gga, wuz good doggie?

SMOKE: You f*ckin b*tch, bring yo azz here and I will f*ck you up myself

TIARA: Hahahaha , you always was a funny n*gga.  Yo, how the f*ck you make that 3 million dollar bond?

SMOKE: You act like you don't know what my mutha f*ckin name is.

TIARA: Sounds like snitch to me, anyway, the people you sent to the hotel

SMOKE: What?

TIARA: Dead! haaaaaa (Tiara hangs up phone)

(Tiara phone starts ringing, she recognizes the number, it's her cousin Stacey, you can read about Stacey by clicking here)

STACEY: Whattup mama, how you been?

TIARA: I'm chillin, lotta sh*t going on, I'm bout to leave the country.

STACEY: You still bodyin n*ggas boo?

TIARA: Maybe, hahahahaha

STACEY: Dayum, can you come see ya cousin before you leave the country.  I aint seen you since I got out of jail.

TIARA: Yea, I will come check you, where you staying at?

STACEY: Well, I'm staying with my girlfriend.

TIARA: You still f*ckin with b*tches Stacey?  I thought that was just some jail sh*t.

STACEY: Nah this chick is sweet as hell, I told her all about you I want you to meet her.

TIARA: Damn b*tch, ok, well where the f*ck you at?

STACEY: We live on 157th

TIARA: Ok, I will call you when I get out there.

STACEY: Ok boo. love you.

TIARA: Bye

(Stacey hangs up phone)

SMOKE: (Talking to Stacey) What the b*tch say?

STACEY: She gonna meet me at my crib

SMOKE: Ok, now remember the plan, get the b*tch drunk as f*ck so she has to sleep there.  I will send my n*ggas over there when you call me and tell me she f*cked up and twisted.  Ok?

STACEY: Got you Smoke.  Smoke, I wanna ask you something.

SMOKE: What

STACEY: You know I had a crazy crush on you for the longest, why you neva tried to beat this p*ssy up?

SMOKE: Listen babygirl, you make this happen for me, me and you is getting married.  I always had a thing for you boo.

STACEY: Really Smoke!  We gonna get married?

SMOKE: All you gotta do is get this b*tch f*cked up enough and me and you is together forever.

STACEY: Oh my god Smokey, I love you.

SMOKE: I love you too, that's why I need you to make this happen.

STACEY: F*ck me Smokey.  F*ck me in my p*ssy, mouth and azz.

SMOKE: We got plenty of time for that, first we have to handle business, get that b*tch over there drunk first.

STACEY: Ok Smoke, give me good bye kiss.

SMOKE: Business first Stacey, business first.

(Tiara calls Stacey and lets her know she is in the area)

TIARA: Cuz?  I'm out here, come outside.

STACEY: Coming!!!!!!!!! Can't wait to see my favorite cousin.  Coming now!

(Stacey comes downstairs and gives Tiara a big hug)

TIARA: Yea, let me see ya crib, ya girl in there?

STACEY: Yea, she in there, her name is Lani.

TIARA: She look good?

STACEY: She's beautiful Tiara.

(Tiara and Stacey enter the apartment, Lani is in there butt azz naked, Tiara is amazed at how beautiful Lani is, Tiara thinks she looks like Rosa Acosta)

STACEY: Lani, you could of put some clothes on.

LANI: For what?  We all chicks.  How you doing Tiara, Stacey told me so much about you.

TIARA: Wuz good.  I aint gay but you a bad azz b*tch.

LANI: Hahahahahaha, Thank you mami, you beautiful ya self.

(Lani sits back down, and Tiara sits right next to her real close.)

TIARA: Damn ma, you sexy as a mutha f*cka.

STACEY: Ok Tiara, we get it, chill mami, that IS my girlfriend.

TIARA: So Lani, what you doing tonight?

STACEY: Tiara!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Lani just smiles at Tiara)

LANI: I aint got sh*t planned.

(Tiara grabs Lani's soft azz)

STACEY: Tiara, what the f*ck are you doing?  Don't make me kick you out.

TIARA: Stacey chill, you don't even like b*tches like that, I don't even know what the f*ck you on no more.

STACEY: Since when do you like girls Tiara?

TIARA: Since right mutha f*ckin now.  Come outside with me real quick Lani.

STACEY: Lani if you go with her, we are done.

LANI: Stacey chill baby, let me talk to you.

(Lani pulls Stacey to the side)

LANI: Listen baby, I'm just listening to what she got to say, you want me to make her feel comfortable right?  You want her to stay here right, so Smoke and them can come see her right?  I still got some questions about what you getting out of setting your own cousin up, but I don't ask you that, right?  Just let me make her comfortable so she will stay up here tonight and get drunk and sh*t, then we call Smoke and he come do what he got to do.

STACEY: Ok Lani, go outside with her but don't leave.

LANI: No, I aint going nowhere with her, I'm just gonna put on some sweatpants and slippers and see what she talking about.

STACEY: Ok come right back, she is a good talker, don't let her talk you into anything.

LANI: I won't baby, I'm a big girl.

STACEY: Ok, give me a kiss.

(Stacey kisses Lani and feels all on her azz and Lani does the same to Stacey)

LANI: Tiara, I will be right back out, let me just put on some clothes

TIARA: Damn, I aint gonna see that azz no more?

LANI: hahaha, not today you won't (Lani winks her eye at Tiara) I'll be right back.

STACEY: You haven't changed a b*t Tiara.

TIARA: Why would you think I would?

STACEY: F*ck you (Stacey storms off into the bedroom and slams the door, Lani comes back out)

LANI: You ready?

TIARA: Let's go.

(They get down to the car)

TIARA: Listen mami, I wanna take you with me out the country.  (Tiara shows Lani the $105,000) Me and you together can have these n*ggas giving us houses.  I'm about my money mami, and I see something in you that can make me and you a lot of money.  F*ck Stacey.  She a stupid azz lil b*tch.  You need to f*ck with a real b*tch like me.

LANI: (Looks at the money and her p*ssy gets extremely wet)  How much is it?

TIARA: A lot mami.  Jump in the car and leave this dumb b*tch here.

LANI: Oh my goodness, I don't know what to do.

TIARA:  What is there to think about?

LANI: Stacey.

TIARA: Why are you worrying about Stacey?  Tiara is here now baby (caresses Lani cheek)  Does Stacey have an azz like this?  Does Stacey have t*tties like this?  Does Stacey look like this?

LANI: No.

TIARA: And most importantly, does Stacey have $105,000?

LANI: No

TIARA: Ok then, so get in the car

(Lani, gets in the car, Stacey is looking out the window the whole time and sees Lani get in the car with Tiara, Stacey calls Smoke to let him know)

STACEY: Smoke, Tiara is leaving, the b*tch came and stole my girl.  They about to pull off, what do I do?

SMOKE: Do you see Chaos truck out there?

STACEY: Yea, I see his truck.

SMOKE: I am going to call Chaos and tell him and Joker to follow them b*tches.

STACEY: Ok Smokey baby is there anything you need me to do?

SMOKE: Just chill in the crib, read Dailypiff or something.

STACEY: Ok Smoke, I love you.

SMOKE: *click* (hangs up)

(Chaos and Joker begin following the car with Tiara and Lani in it)

CHAOS: Damn Joke, you see these b*tches that Smoke got us following, they look like some bad azz b*tches from here.  I am defianately going to try and f*ck one.

JOKER: Them b*tches aint gonna f*ck you n*gga.

CHAOS: What!!!!!!  N*gga watch me smash these one of these sexy azz vixens.

JOKER: That's not what Smoke wants us to do Chaos, he wants us to fall back and just follow where they go.

CHAOS: F*ck Smoke.  Since when the f*ck Smoke start givin n*ggas orders?  Since when the f*ck can Smoke stop me from trying to get some p*ssy?

JOKER: He paying us n*gga

CHAOS: And?  Yo f*ck Smoke n*gga.  I don't even think that n*gga bodied Deebo like people is saying.  When the f*ck you ever known Smoke for busting his gun?

JOKER: That's true, but still.

CHAOS: Smoke need to give some orders to that tight azz hoodie he wear everyday.

JOKER: haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaa

CHAOS: Fa real n*gga, that sh*t so tight, his wrists be exposed like a mutha f*cka.  That old dusty azz hoodie.  I think that n*gga sleep with that mutha f*cka on.

JOKER: Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

CHAOS: He be f*ckin with some nasty azz b*tches too, he f*ck witht the scum of the slum b*tches.

JOKER: Yea, but still Chaos the n*gga is paying us just to follow these b*tches, I don't want to f*ck up this money.

CHAOS: Listen, if Smoke don't pay me, I'm gonna Smoke HIS azz.

JOKER: haahaahaaa

CHAOS: Oh sh*t look Joke!!! They pulling into the strip club.  I knew these b*tches was some f*ckin freaks.  Oh sh*t now they getting out the car.  Finally I get to see what kind of bodies these b*tches got.

(Lani steps out first)

CHAOS AND JOKER: Dayummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!!!!

(Then Tiara steps out)

CHAOS AND JOKER: What the f*ck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sh*t!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CHAOS: Damn my d*ck just got harder than a mutha f*cka, Joke get out the car so I can beat my d*ck to these b*tches.

JOKER: hahhahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, you crazy yo.

CHAOS: When we get in the club we gonna try to f*ck these b*tches right Joke?

JOKER: Hell yea.

(Chaos and Joker see Tiara and Lani inside the Strip club.  Chaos approaches Tiara)

CHAOS: Whattup mami.

TIARA: Whattup?  What you say?  You about to buy me a drink?  Ok. Go head.

LANI: hahahahhaaaaa, buy shorty a drink n*gga, what's ya name?

CHAOS: They call me Chaos.

LANI: Well Chaos you kinda cute n*gga.

CHAOS: Thank you mami, and you already know you fine then a mutha f*cka, this is my n*gga Joker.

LANI: Hi Joker.

TIARA: My name is Tiara and this is my friend Lani.

CHAOS: Tiara huh? (Chaos is desperately trying to think of where he heard that name before)

LANI: And my name is Lani.

TIARA: Lani, you haven't kissed me yet.  Kiss me for these two fine azz n*ggas.

(Tiara and Lani begin kissing)

LANI: Haahahahah, look at Chaos pervert azz rubbing his d*ck and sh*t!

CHAOS: It get hard I touch it baby.

LANI: When you gonna let me touch it?

TIARA: (thinking to herself) Damn this Lani chick is good at this sh*t.

CHAOS: You can touch it right now.

LANI: Come here, is it hard Chaos?

CHAOS: Hell yea it's hard

LANI: Let me see how hard it is. (Lani begins rubbing the outside of Chaos jeans, she feels that his d*ck is extremely hard)

LANI: Dayum Chaos, that sh*t is rock hard.  You a lil horny mutha f*cka huh?

CHAOS: Always.

LANI: You two need to take me and my girl somewhere nice so we can test drive those d*cks.  And you Mr. Chaos, I wanna test drive yours.

TIARA: (Thinking to herself) is this b*tch serious or is she trying to rob these n*ggas?  I need to f*ckin know.

TIARA: Lani come here.

LANI: Wassup Tiara?

TIARA: Are you fa real about f*ckin these n*ggas?

LANI: They cute right Tiara?

TIARA: They aiight, but they useless unless they got money.

(Chaos walks over to the two ladies)

CHAOS: Excuse me ladies but Me and my boy gonna run to the bathroom real quick, iight, we be right back.

LANI: See if they got condoms in there Chaos.

(Chaos leaves is cell phone on the stool in front of Tiara when he goes to the bathroom, right when he leaves it begins to ring, Tiara looks at the name and the number on the incoming call and see's the name "Smoke" with Smoke's phone number)

TIARA: Oh sh*t!!! These n*ggas is trying to set me up.

LANI: Who?

TIARA: These n*ggas right here, Smoke sent these n*ggas here to follow me.

LANI: Yes, I know something about that Tiara, Stacey was supposed to set you up at her house, that's one of the reasons I left with you, cause I really think you fly and sexy and I aint want to see you get hurt.  And that's why I'm telling you this now.

(Chaos and Joker come back.)

CHAOS: Oh whattup ladies, I left my f*ckin phone here.  I got a missed call, let me see who this is.  Oh, excuse me ladies, let me return this call.

TIARA: Yea, return that call Chaos......................Sexy Chaos.

CHAOS: Damn, I can't have both of you on my d*ck my n*gga here gonna start hating, give big Joke some play, my badd Joke, I don't mean to have both these b*tches on my d*ck.

JOKER: hahahahhaah, you a funny n*gga, it's all good.

TIARA: Nah Joker, you sexy to baby, all I did was give Chaos a compliment, but Imma let you touch it.  Come here.

(Joker walks over to Tiara)

TIARA: Put that hand on my azz. Yea.  Like that.  Now put ya fingers in the crack of my azz.  Yea like that.  Now take ya other hand and rub the f*ck outta my p*ssy.  Ohhhh, that sh*t feel good Joke.  Joke, don't stop Joke.  Don't stop, I'm bout to cum n*gga, keep going.  Don't stop baby.  Don't stop Big Joker.  Yes! Keep going.

LANI: Chaos, why you watching them rubbin ya d*ck, I thought you was my boo?  No boo of mine has to beat his own d*ck, come here, keep watching them, I'll jerk that sh*t for you.  Don't look at me, keep watching them.  Keep ya eyes on them.

TIARA: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! AHH! AHHHHH!!!!!!  Damn I just nutted.

CHAOS: ohhhhhhhhhhhhh sh*tttttttttttttttttt! Gott dayummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.  I nutted too.

LANI: Damn Chaos, that's a lot of nut, Tiara look at my hand, look how much Chaos just nutted.

TIARA: Damn papi.  Had a lot built up in you huh, listen it don't take a rocket scientist to see, that me and my girl his horny as f*ck and ready to f*ck.  Chaos did you make that call that number back yet?

CHAOS: Nah, not yet,

TIARA: Chaos, since you f*ckin with my girl, I don't wanna see my girl get played, I don't want no b*tches calling you n*ggas while you with us, so how about you and Joker let me and Lani hold your phones until you leave us.  I just don't like other b*tches calling and texting n*ggas that I'm chillin with for the night.  We will give them back when you leave.

CHAOS: Here Lani, lets go to a hotel or something

JOKER: Here Tiara, Chaos is right, lets get the f*ck outta here.

TIARA: Lets go, we will take my car.  Leave ya car here.

CHAOS: Ok, lets be out.

TIARA: Let's go.

(In the car Tiara is driving, Chaos is in the passenger seat and Lani and Joker are in the back.  Tiara hears slurping in the backseat and turns around and sees Lani sucking Joker's d*ck)

TIARA: Damn mami, you aint wasting no time on that d*ck huh?  Move ya head Lani, let me see how big it is.

(Lani moves her head and keeps jerking it)

TIARA: Dayummmm, that sh*t nice Joker, I might have picked the wrong n*gga.  Let me see yours Chaos.

(Chaos unbuckles his pants and Tiara sees he has a gun on him, She thinks to herself that she needs one cause she left the one she had with Gordon)

TIARA: Pull it out n*gga, hurry the f*ck up.  Gimme the gun, I'll hold it while you pull it out.

(Chaos hands Tiara the gun and pulls his d*ck out)

TIARA: Nahhhhh n*gga, I'm gonna pretend I aint see that, get that sh*t hard first n*gga, that's pathetic.

CHAOS: Make it hard.

TIARA: Get that sh*t hard n*gga, you aint gettin ya gun back until that sh*t is hard. (says it like she is just joking with him)

CHAOS: ohhhhhhhh sh*t mami, you gonna do me like that?

TIARA: hahaha yea, get it hard.

(Chaos starts jerking off)

TIARA: Don't cum on these seats n*gga.  This a nice gun you got here n*gga.  What you need a gun for?  Is it loaded?

CHAOS: Fully loaded baby, stays fully loaded.

TIARA: That's what the f*ck I'm talkin bout.

CHAOS: Ok baby, it's hard.

TIARA: Not bad, ya boy sh*t bigger but I can work with that.

CHAOS: ahhahahhaah, why you tryin to play me.  Aight, gimme the gun back

TIARA: Hol on n*gga,

CHAOS: Mami, I need my burner, I don't like not having it on me.

TIARA: I aint gonna take ya f*ckin burner n*gga, relax, you sound like a b*tch

(Chaos reaches over and tries to snatch it out Tiara's hand, Tiara is driving and keeping the gun away from Chaos at the same time.)

LANI: (Stops sucking for a second) What's going on up there?

TIARA: This n*gga trying to get his gun back, I just wanna hold it.

LANI: Damn son, my girl can't hold the gun, f*ck you scared of?

TIARA: (Pulls car over) Yo son, you gonna make me crash.

CHAOS: Why the f*ck you won't gimmie the burner b*tch?

TIARA: Relax doggy.  Step out the car and let me talk to you about something.

(Chaos steps out the car and Tiara comes over to his side of the car, she leaves the gun in her seat)

TIARA: Listen Chaos, I think you mad cute, I just like holding guns, can a girl have some fun?  I thought we was f*ckin cool and sh*t now you acting like I'm gonna shoot you or some sh*t.  You horny n*gga?

CHAOS: Yea, now I am after beating my d*ck.

TIARA: Listen, I'm gonna tell you a secret.  Lani is a f*ckin freak son, trust me I know this.  She likes to be raped.  I know, I know.  Sh*t is crazy.  She told me in the club that she want you and ya man to rape her in the backseat.  That's why she giving him head right in front of you.  She wants you to jump back there and start taking that p*ssy.

CHAOS: Fa real?

TIARA: No bullsh*t, she is one of the freakiest b*tches I ever met son.  Listen, when we get back in the car, you jump in the back and you and ya man start f*ckin the b*tch.

CHAOS: Let me text him and let him know.

TIARA: Will he hear his phone go off while he gettin head?  Look like he into that sh*t.

CHAOS: Yea, he will answer it.

(Chaos texts Joker what Tiara just told him, Joker texts back "Let's do it"

CHAOS: He just said he down with it.

TIARA: Aiight n*gga, so when we get back in, yall n*ggas go head and do ya thing.

CHAOS: Ok.

TIARA: Just let me hold the gun for a lil while n*gga.

CHAOS: Ok.  Let's get back in the car so I can f*ck the sh*t out her fine azz.

(Chaos and Tiara get back in the car, Chaos turns around and makes eye contact with Joker and Joker nods his head in agreement while Lani is sucking his d*ck)

CHAOS: Come here b*tch!! (Chaos jumps in the back and rips on Lani's sweatpants.  He sees she has no panties on)

CHAOS: Oh you a lil freak huh, sweatpants with no underwear, ok gimmie these sh*ts.

(Joker holds his arm around her throat)

JOKER: B*tch stop moving or I will choke the life outta you.

LANI: Tiara, help me!!!

TIARA: Yo, yall n*ggas chill, yo, what the f*ck are you doing?  Raping her?  Oh hell no, I'm calling the cops!

(Tiara pretends like she called the cops)

TIARA: Cops are on they way mutha f*ckas, you n*ggas is going down.

(Chaos and Joker have Lani butt naked in the backseat, Joker has his arm around her throat and Chaos is f*cking her from the front.)

TIARA: (Pulls over) I'm gonna wait right here for the cops to come.

(Tiara pulls out her camera phone and videotapes the entire scene on the sneak tip)

TIARA: (While camera is running, Tiara yells) Get the f*ck off her!!!!!! Get the f*ck off her!!!!!!

(Tiara starts crying)

TIARA: Why are you doing this to her.

LANI: (Lani has calmed down and is just laying there with Joker's are around her throat, waiting for it to just be over)

TIARA:  Please get off her!!! I will give you whatever you want!!! Just get off of her!!!

(Chaos busts up in Lani, him and Joker switch positions and then Joker busts up in Lani)

TIARA:  Get the f*ck out the car!! Get the f*ck out!

CHAOS: Just drive.

TIARA; (Tiara plays it off like Chaos demanded her to drive) Ok, Ok, I'm driving, please don't hurt me, please don't hurt me!

(Tiara pushes stop on the video recorder)

LANI: (crying) I can't believe this sh*t just happened to me.

TIARA: Calm down and relax mami

CHAOS: Yea b*tch calm yo azz down and relax

JOKER: Fa real.  Shut the f*ck up wit ya good azz p*ssy.

(Lani shuts up)

CHAOS: We goin to the hotel and you gonna give us some more of that good p*ssy too.

LANI: (Thinking to herself) Why are they not raping Tiara?  Something isn't right, She said she called the cops but it doesn't seem like it and they didn't even care, and they are still in the car with us talking about going to the hotel.  Something aint right. (Lani texts Tiara)

The text message reads:

"Tiara what the f*ck?  Did you know they were going to do that?  Is that what you and Chaos was talking about outside the car?"

TIARA: (looks at text and reads it and responds while driving)

"Hell no! I can't believe you wouldn't even think something like that.  Did you forget these n*ggas is trying to set ME up!!!

LANI: (looks at text and responds)

"It just doesn't seem right Tiara, why didn't they do anything to you?"

TIARA: (Thinking to herself) This b*tch is getting a lil too f*ckin smart for her own good.  This b*tch was trying to set me up too, I should just kill everybody in this mutha f*ckin car.  I need this f*cking gun, thats the only reason I told them to do that.  Guess it's time to pull the plug on everybody.

TIARA: Chaos

CHAOS: Whattup mami?

TIARA: How you know Smoke

CHAOS: Huh? ummmm, Who?

TIARA: (pulls car over)  Don't play stupid with me mutha f*cka, how you know Smoke, last time I'm asking.  If you lie, you die.

CHAOS: He told me to follow you mami, can you put the gun down?

TIARA: Told you to follow me for what?

CHAOS: The n*gga aint say, he just said follow you and see where you going.

TIARA: Ok, Yo Lani,

LANI: Yes?

TIARA: These n*ggas raped you.  What you wanna do?  You want these n*ggas dead?

LANI: Yes.

TIARA: You heard my girl get out the car n*ggas and come around here.

BLAOWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

BLAOWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

BLAOWWWWWW

(A car comes on the highway and pulls behind Tiara's car and starts firing shots in through the back window, Chaos and Joker both jump out the car and get in the other vehicle and pull off)

TIARA: Oh sh*t, these n*gga got me in my hand Lani, drive me to the hospital,  We gonna talk to the cops there, I got them raping you on video.

TIARA: Lani? (Tiara turns around and sees Lani dead butt naked in the backseat)

TIARA: (Thinking to herself) Oh well b*tch tried to set me up and ended up dead.  They think I didn't see who it was driving that car them shots was fired from, but I seen they azz, I'm gonna text them right now just to let them know I know.

The text message reads:

"Stacey whattup?  It's me Tiara, where u at?

STACEY: (Calls Tiara) I'm chillin, where the two of you went to?

TIARA: Don't play stupid b*tch, I saw you, just to let you know, them shots that was fired, killed ya girl

STACEY: Lani is dead?  What shots?  Oh my god!  I don't know what the f*ck you are talking about Tiara please tell me!!!

*click* (Tiara hangs up and continues driving to the hospital to treat her hand)

STACEY: (After Stacey hangs up with Tiara she turns to Smoke in the car)  "Yo that b*tch saw us baby and my girl got killed"

SMOKE: Its ok Stacey, if you just keep doing what I ask you to do, you wont need her anymore, you will have me boo boo. (Smoke tries to stop from laughing as he is saying it).  Her seeing you is a problem now, cause you don't have her trust now.

STACEY: I denied that sh*t like a mutha f*cka though, just in case she really didn't see me.  I can't believe I killed Lani.  Yo Chaos did Lani and Tiara f*ck?

CHAOS: Nah, I f*cked though, tell her Joke!! hahahahah

JOKER; Yea

STACEY: She let you n*ggas f*ck?  F*ckin slutt azz b*tch, oh well, she dead now, see what happens when you do grimey azz sh*t.

(Meanwhile Tiara is going in the emergency room to be treated for her gunshot wound, they put her in a room.  She looks across the hall and sees about 20 cops and detectives around somebodies room)

TIARA: (Thinking to herself) Dayum! I wonder what the f*ck is going on over there.

(The nurse comes in)

NURSE: Hi Tiara!  I'm going to be your nurse tonight, how is your hand feeling?

TIARA: It's hurting like a mutha f*cka.  Nurse, what the hell is going on over there, why are all those cops over there.

NURSE: (Looks) Wow.  Well I just came in,  I don't know.  I have been off for a few days recovering from a nose injury.

TIARA: I see, what happened?

NURSE: A man punched me in the nose and took off like a little girl

TIARA: hahahahahha, I'm sorry I don't mean to laugh.

NURSE: It's ok, I will find out what all the commotion over there is about and let you know ok?

TIARA: Ok, Nurse what's your name?

NURSE: My name is Michelle.  You can call me Nurse Michelle.

TIARA: Alright.

(Tiara wants to know what the hell is going on across the hall with all of those police officers, then she hears a voice that she knows very well)

VOICE: Holy Baked Potato Skin!!!

TIARA: (Thinking to herself) Oh sh*t!! All those police are there for Gordon?

(Nurse Michelle comes back)

MICHELLE: I found out what the commotion is over there, that guy over there murdered a few people including a police officer.  He got shot in the leg by the officer so they are in there watching him until he heals.  His name is Gordon.  I know him.  He is the reason my nose is like this.  He punched me in my nose and ran.

TIARA: THAT guy punched you in the nose and ran?

MICHELLE: Yes, I could go over and press charges but I am not going to do it.  He is a very nice guy.

TIARA: Oh really.

MICHELLE: Yes.  We are going to see if we can release you later on today.  We will try to get you outta here.

TIARA: Ok thank you.  Nurse.  Are you positive that is the guy who punched you in the nose.

MICHELLE: I will never forget him, I bailed him out of jail and everything.

TIARA: Out of Jail!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???????????????????

MICHELLE: Yes.

TIARA: What was he in jail for?

MICHELLE: Something about getting oral sex from a girl on his front porch

TIARA: Are you f*ckin serious?

MICHELLE: Yes.  I have to go, I will be back to check on you.  I think you have a visitor, do you want me to send them up?

TIARA: Who is it?

MICHELLE: It's a gentleman by the name of Gerald.

TIARA: I don't know nobody named Gerald.

MICHELLE: Do you want me to let them in or not?

TIARA: (thinking to herself) I think Smoke real name is Gerald

TIARA: No, don't let them in.

MICHELLE: Ok.  I will be back to check on you.

GORDON: (Talking to police) I didn't do anything officers, I swear.  I'm innocent.  I like cops.  I love cops.  They protect our streets.

DETECTIVE: Well, you can tell it to your cellmate cause we have all the evidence we need.  We are just waiting for them to finish with your leg then your going to jail Mr.Gordon

GORDON: Noooooooooooooooooooo!  It was this girl Tiara.  You have to believe me.

DETECTIVE: Tell it to your cellmate Gordon.

(nurse Michelle comes back to check on Tiara)

MICHELLE: Tiara we checked your blood and it seems as though you may be pregnant.

TIARA: What!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MICHELLE: Yea, you are pregnant Tiara.  Congratulations.  The baby wasn't harmed by your gunshot wound.

TIARA: (silent)

MICHELLE: Tiara are you ok?

TIARA: (silent, then passes out)

MICHELLE: Doctor to room 115, doctor to room 115 now!!!!!

(The doctors rush to Tiara and decide they are going to keep her overnight just for safety precautions, Gordon is still across the hall with the officers)

DETECTIVE: They just ran over there and checked her out.  Hey Captain, give her one of those sayings so she can here you.

GORDON: What the f*ck sayings you talking bout?  She knows I'm here, we have the camera set up in her room, I can see her looking over here every second.

DETECTIVE: C'mon Captain, do it for me then, that sh*t is hilarious.

GORDON: When are we going to arrest this crazy b*tch.  I'm tired of this f*ckin act man.  I been undercover for 2 years with this Gordon sh*t ever since the Carl Nayson case, I'm tired, I have all the evidence I need.

DETECTIVE: We are going to arrest her azz real soon G, just do it for me please, gimmie one of the sayings, you have me cracking the f*ck up with that sh*t.

GORDON: Ok, I will do one, you ready?

DETECTIVE: Yea, go head

GORDON: Holy cracked laundry baskets!!!!

DETECTIVE: haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahaaaaa

haaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa bwhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

GORDON: Calm down mutha f*cka you are going to blow our cover, we finally got the b*tch right where we want her, I am going across the hall.

DETECTIVE: Let's go.

(Gordon and the detective walk across the hall to Tiara's room)

GORDON: Tiara Rogers, I'm sure you know who I am (Gordon Shows badge)  You are under arrest for the all of the murders you have committed, you have the right to remain silent, anything you say CAN and will be used against you in a court of law.  You have a right to an attorney, if you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed to you, do you understand these rights as they have been read to you?

TIARA: I'm pregnant with your baby.

GORDON: uhhh ummmm, I don't know what she is talking about.

THE END!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Good Guy Gordon "The sequel" Coming Soon.