_{^{You should not stop wiping ya azz until the toilet paper is white after you wipe.  After the last wipe, you should look at the toilet paper and if it is not pearly white, you definately need to wipe again.  I don't care if the sh*t on the toilet paper is light skin, if you still see it, you need to wipe again.  You also need touse some strength when you wiping.  Wipe hard.  Don't be scared to dig in.  Better safe than sorry.  If you follow these directions, you can keep your underwear the color that they supposed to be instead of having brown nike checks inside the lining of ya drawls.}}

_{^{How the f*ck can you be too lazy to go out and get a new toothbrush?  A toothbrush is less than a dollar.  Some people been using the same toothbrush for the past year.  They wake up in the morning and see their toothbrush is on its deathbed. They still won't get a new one.  One bristle be pointing left, the other bristle is pointing right.  Then when you brushing, you got bristles breaking off in ya mouth and sh*t.  I have a question:}}

_{^{How can you be pulling bristles out ya mouth and not realize it's time to get a new toothbrush?}}

_{^{Mutha f*cka toothbrush so old, when he brushing his teeth, sparks be going off in his mouth, it be the 4th of July in that mutha f*cka mouth.  Change ya f*cking toothbrush.}}

_{^{Do you share the soap in your house?  People is good for leaving pubic hair on the soap.  Now you can only deal with this situation, one of two ways.  You can either peel the pubic hair off with your fingers or you can leave it on there and wash ya azz.  Both ways is nasty.  I saw an episode of Run's House when that lil mutha f*cka had his own soap and the family was hatin on him.  F*ck that.  That was a power move.  He was smart as a mutha f*cka for that one.  Sh*t he aint wanna be washing his body with Reverend Run pubic hair all over the mutha f*ckin soap.  Smart kid.}}

_{^{I hate when somebody cook for me and it taste like sh*t.  B*tch know damn well she can't cook.  Nobody in her life ever told her she could cook.  You invite me over for dinner and you say you gonna cook for me but b*tch just be honest, we coulda went out and got something.  Tell me you don't cook.  It's that simple.  "Baby I can't cook" is that hard?  I aint gonna clown you.  I aint gonna laugh at you.  I mean in my head I might be like:}}

_{^{"This b*tch 25 years old and can't cook, gott damn.  This relationship aint gonna last.  Damn, how can a female not be able to cook?  I can see if you grew up without a mother or grandmother but damn you got both.  You never asked them to teach you how to cook?  WTF was you too busy out getting drunk and sucking d*ck to learn how to cook.  You one of those b*tches huh?  Rather have a d*ck in ya mouth than learn how to cook a meal."}}

_{^{But I wouldn't say that to ya face sweetheart.  How bout you take this plate of expired meat and give it to the pit bull and let's go out and get some pizza sweetheart.  C'mon, lets go.}}

_{^{Black girls f*ck the best, Spanish girls got the best p*ssy and White girls give the best head.  When you f*cking most black chicks its good just cause they more athletic and they got rhythm, if you turn on the music its like you in the club butt naked with ya d*ck in a b*tch.  Spanish girls got the best p*ssy, a mutha f*cka can only last an average of 5 minutes in some spanish p*ssy on the first nutt with a condom.  You will only last 3 minutes on the first nutt with no condom.  That p*ssy is golden.  Why you think them spanish mutha f*ckas be all protective and jealous over they b*tches, its dat p*ssy.  White girls give the best head the key factor  in giving good head is you have show passion and enjoy doing it.  White girls love giving head.  A white girl will give you head like she can have an orgasm from doing it.  They love it.  They will suck and swallow and won't even ask you to eat it.  Gotta love um.}}